Credit: Michael Becker / FOX @2012 Fox Broadcasting Photo: Contestants Cheer for American Idol 2012 Hollywood Week

First things first: Symone Black, the young lady who took a header off the stage at the end of last night’s episode, is okay! The other contestants formed a prayer circle and it healed her. Or sipping from a can of some Coke product did. We’re not entirely sure, but either way, Symone’s all right.

Meanwhile, Lauren Mink, Jeremy Rosado, and Ethan Jones are all waiting to find out if they’ve made it to the next round. (As an aside: Wow, Steven’s shirt is really sparkly.) Of the three, only Jeremy makes it through. Ethan calls it “bittersweet” and Lauren says she’s “still pretty lucky.” Aw. Nice people are nice!

Time for the group round, y’all. This is when things get all dramatic and people cry and yell at each other and then get onstage and are either total trainwrecks or shockingly awesome. It is the best!

So, groups have to have 4 or 5 members, and must contain members from both Day 1 and Day 2 of the individual auditions. Lots of people are wandering around group-less, especially St. Louis cop Alicia Bernhart, along with tent-dweller Amy Brumfield, who not only lacks a group but also has the flu. Yikes. Amy cries and worries that she’s going to pass out. This is terrible! We just stopped worrying about Symone and now we’re worrying about Amy. This is American Idol, can’t somebody just sing a song?

After the commercial, Cop Alicia finds a guy named Dustin to join her group. Phillip Phillips and Heejun Han are in a group together with a dude with headphones and a guy in a cowboy hat. Amy’s still flu-ridden and kind of worrisome, but she joins up with Cop Alicia and Dustin. Cop Alicia is kind of charming. Groups that are already formed are off rehearsing — one group has a nice version of “Carry on My Wayward Son” going already. Uh oh, Cop Alicia’s group is abandoning her, and now she’s alone again. Maybe she’s less charming in person.

FYI: We’re at the 30-minute mark and there hasn’t been a single performance yet. Boo.

Alicia remains groupless after the commercial. A group of youngish girls have formed a team called The Betties. They’re cute. Oh good, Alicia found a group!

Shannon Magrane, Kyle Crews, and Brielle Von Hugel (what a name!) are in a group together, and Brielle’s mom is a total stage mom and she’s lurking by the door and supervising.

Symone’s back, and the official word is that she needs to eat and drink more. (We say that’s always good advice!) She has to find a group, and luckily she finds one quickly. Her dad hugs all the girls in the group, which is nice and also kind of weird.

Credit: Michael Becker / FOX @2012 Fox Broadcasting Photo: A Contestant Prepares to Sing During American Idol 2012 Hollywood Week

Amy Brumfield is still deathly ill. She’s trying to hang in, but apparently she’s Typhoid Amy, and now other people are sick, too. Including Phillip Phillips, who’s dealing with kidney stones — which he presumably didn’t get from Amy, at least.

Cowboy Hat Guy, who’s in the group with Phillip and Heejun, is trying to teach them salsa dance moves or something, and the other dudes are not having it. Heejun is very much not amused.

We’re 40 minutes in now and still no singing. Is this how this is going tonight? Can we object? Without the music to break things up, the drama isn’t really as compelling.

Oh no, Cop Alicia’s group has contracted Amy’s death plague virus thing. Christian in particular is super vomitous. Poor guy. Amy, who’s — you guessed it! — still sick, says Jesus is on her side so she’ll be okay. You’d think Jesus would be on Christian’s side too, wouldn’t you? (Because Christian, get it?!)

Heejun still hates Cowboy Hat Guy. "Now I have a very, very bad perspective towards cowboys, even Dallas Cowboys. Freakin' cowboys," Heejun says. Ha! Cowboy Hat Guy is going to be bad, right? He has to be.

Elsewhere, other groups sounds pretty decent, but The Betties are exhausted and bickering amongst themselves. One Bettie is crying and swearing a lot, and a few Betties leave and go to bed.

Fifty-one minutes, no performances. SIGH.

Two Betties are still awake and practicing together. It’s sort of cute. Inevitably, the Betties who bailed and went to bed will end up performing better when they hit the stage, but we like these Betties!

All over the convention center, groups are rehearsing. Some of them sound pretty good. Heejun continues to hate Cowboy Hat Guy.

The Betties are up first. They take the stage, Cursing and Crying Bettie draws a breath to sing, and... cliffhanger! How will they do? Looks like we’re not finding out until next week.

 

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