Tonight’s episode of America’s Got Talent fully proved that some Americans are especially talented at making themselves look silly on TV.
 
Judging trio Howard Stern, Howie Mandel, and Sharon Osbourne hit up Tampa Bay, Florida in search of some hopeful talent, and what they got was a whole bunch of crazy.
 
The night started out on a strong note, with a young group of Miami-based dancers — aged 8 to 13 — called “The Untouchables.” Jamming out to a Jennifer Lopez song, these tykes were what Sharon called “precise” and left Howard Stern captivated. He did warn that the youngsters have their adorable age in their favor, and “puberty is your enemy.”
 
Things went downhill pretty quickly from there. Everything from a two-stepping set of twins with white bowties, to a motorcycle gang, to a man dressed in a paper dress crossed the judges’ stage. One group which really drew out some boos from the crowd orchestrated a worm circus. Yep, you read that right. A worm circus. It was as odd as it sounds, and only Howie liked the display. “All of America’s going to be talking about this tomorrow,” he implored. Hey, he may be right about that.

Or America could be left talking about the pirate rappers, “Captain Dan and the Scurvy Crew,” who Howard Stern accurately predicted would walk the plank early. He has to search for a creative word to describe the display, and all he can come up with is “pathetic.” Ouch!

What people are really likely to talk about — if anything — is the Twiggy incident. A lady named LuAnne Bess from Florida showed up with a squirrel flittering through her shirt (and defecating on host Nick Cannon… yuck!), promising she could get the thing to water ski. After a whole ordeal of taking the show outside to provide a motorized boat and a huge pool for the trick performance, the judges weren’t impressed at all. That’s a one-trick rodent, which is just “not enough for an act,” according to Sharon.

One group which was up to snuff for all three judges was the American BMX Stunt Team — 10 bicycle-tricksters ranging in age from 20 to 44. Between their loop-the-loops, flips, backflips, jumps, dives, and whatever else the crew accomplished up there, Howard Stern was left in awe, saying that their display was “the best [he’s] seen.” Big praise from such a big man!

The rest of the show consisted of gun twirlers, an Ozzie and Sharon impersonator pair (which, by the way, she voted yes on), cave people dancing, a 4-foot-tall singer who miraculously got voted on to Vegas by two sympathetic judges, and Lindsey Norton, a 16-year-old acrobatic dancer who knocked the whole audience’s socks off with her talent. Howie even compared her to an Olympian, and Sharon thought her dedication to the sport made her a great role model for her fellow teens. Needless to say, Lindsey got a unanimous yes to move forward in the competition. 


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