Oh how we will miss Monsieur Andre Leon Talley and his one-liners behind the judges’ table of America’s Next Top Model. True, his presence was less than enormous on Cycle 17: All-Stars, but Tyra & Co. may have been preparing her audience for an ALT-free Cycle 18 ahead, where Kelly Cutrone will come on as the season’s judge.
In honor of his greatness, we’ve collected 11 of our favorite all-time ALT quotations here.
1. “Drekitude is the lowest point in the lowest ebb. It could be your look. It could be your shoes. It could be that you're standing wrong. Drek is a total, total, total hot mess.”
We would put on our best dreadful wreck look if only ALT would say this to us in person.
2. On Laura Kirkpatrick: “I am just tired of this hee haw elegance.”
Once you get a few champagne flutes in the gentle giant, we have a feeling a little hee haw comes out on his buttery voice.
3. “I’m so absolutely fatigué of Camille’s beauty pageantry.”
We will never be fatigue of Andre’s penchant for franglais.
4. "Even some of the great models sometimes don't think, but they still make fabulous photos."
5. Describing a jumpsuit: “elongated asparagus verticality.”
As long as the asparagus doesn’t have camel toe. Which brings us to...
6. “There’s nothing worse than a woman with a camel toe at a cocktail party because then your eyes look at that and you don’t want to talk to her. You throw your hair back and you keep walking.”
We may be guilty of this hit-and-run...
7. On Chelsey’s photo, Cycle 15: “She’s conveying to me a volcanic sultriness under the iceberg of cold, frozen, incandescent beauty. She’s hot, and she’s cold.”
And when Andre’s porridge is just right, he conveys a volcanic explosion of the midsection.
8. On Jane dressed as Marc Jacobs. “I don’t get that Jane, who is apparently a Princeton girl, has not done her homework.”
Marc Jacobs has always wanted to be a Princeton girl.
9. On Ann: “She needs to go somewhere and be told, ‘Learn how to convey a personality.’”
That “somewhere” needs to be ALT’s salohn, and that instructor needs to be ALT.
10. On Kayla: “She looks like a great statue...in a beautiful villa...in Como.”
Be careful Kayla, lest Andre attempt to scale you and move in for good.
11. On Chris: “She’s just a vat of bubbling, bubbly deliciousness.”
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