Ah, the Cycle 16 B-sides. Like a little spring present, wasn't it? There were lots of revelations amidst the general recapping of what's happened so far, and we got to see Ann Ward on the subway for two seconds! (That's all. It was just nice to see her.) On to the best never-before-seen moments from last night.
7. Jaclyn couldn't make her bed without Monique.
Putting on sheets is annoying to everybody, but the task seemed to actually cripple Jaclyn. She made several desperate shouts for Monique after she realized her mom back in Texas wasn't going to magically appear. This was weird for the obvious reasons, but also for one other: Why Monique? She wasn't even going to put the sheets on her own bed.
6. Ondrei fainted? Fell? It was unclear.
During Tyra's lesson on cheat foods, she and her nutritionist were interrupted by the most graceful fainting we've ever seen. Ondrei, who left the competition early because of her grief over her brother's recent death, slowly crouched down under the table and then put herself on the floor. No one really knew what was happening, since normally when people faint it's a little more...sudden.
5. The fact that we hadn't seen Hannah's meltdown before kind of shows why she had a meltdown.
Unfortunately for Hannah, her on-set tear-fest happened the same day as Brittani and Alexandria's battle, and there was really only time for one overly dramatic storyline that episode. After shooting the campaign for breast cancer awareness, Nigel told Hannah that she wasn't memorable, a critique she'd gotten before. She kinda freaked out a little and tearfully explained to the camera that she is so much more than the girl next door.
4. Usher and P. Diddy are the only two people who could unite Alexandria and Brittani.
After the Great Panel Throwdown of 2011, Alexandria and Brittani were reduced to euphoric convulsions after spotting Usher and P. Diddy in the lobby of their building. Really, they couldn't stop dancing/shaking even after everyone else went to bed.
3. Alexandria called Jaclyn mean.
When Alexandria and the rest of the house had it out backstage, Lex accused Jaclyn of standing there with her arms folded as Brittani went into her tirade on set. "That's when I saw a different Jaclyn," she said. "A really mean, cold-hearted Jaclyn." Jaclyn left the room visibly upset, as the rest of the girls — and now the rest of the world — were like, "Really, Lex? Jaclyn?"
2. Alexandria rapped a little bit.
Yeah, it happened. Sample lyrics: I'm not a chump, I'm a champ / I'm in it to win it / Natural born swagger/ Best never forget it. Honestly, it's not the worst we've heard on this show by a long shot.
1. Jaclyn's you-know-what made the crystal go crazy!
Hippie Hannah brought her pendulum to the house, and during a late night session of dangling the chain and crystal over certain Chakra zones (read: Sara's head and Alexandria's vajayjay), the models decided to wake up virginal Jaclyn from her slumber to see if her "special area" would make the crystal go in circles (yes) or move back and forth (no). Sleepy, confused Jaclyn was stretched out on the kitchen table, probably hoping against hope that this "experiment" wasn't one of those weird west coast things her family had warned her about. The girls cheered as the crystal made crazy circles of yes! "I was very uncomfortable laying on that table," Jaclyn said. "It was kinda awkward, cause we eat on that table." That was the awkward part?