A Trip to Walmart: The Tyra Mail just says Ding Dong, which is a little scary. Thankfully, it’s just a giant pink bag with CoverGirl kits inside. The models must work in teams (Team 1: Ann, Kendal and Jane; Team 2: Kayla, Esther and Kacey; Team 3: Liz, Chris and Chelsey) presenting the Smoky Eye Look Kit and Lasting Color and High Shine Lip Duo Packs to a crowd at Walmart. Nigel is there for a final word of encouragement in the parking lot. We’ll let Chris explain how these presentations go: “Group one was quiet. Group two was up and loud. I just wanted to make sure that group three, my group did it right, and did what we had to do to try to win.” (This means Chris ends up overpowering her team). When all is said and done, that crafty Nigel interviews some people from the crowd (who also kept score) about how each of the models did, which is broadcast on a monitor for them to see. Yeah, it’s uncomfortable.
What follows is a very weird, escalating sequence of victories and prizes. Ann gets the lowest score, basically because she’s shy. Team 2 wins, and Kacey gets the overall win (which she deserved). As their reward, Kacey, Esther and Kayla get a shopping spree in the CoverGirl aisle of Walmart. (We’ve always fantasized about doing something like this, but in the fantasy, we get nervous and only end up with one foundation stick in the wrong color). The three of them make up their faces with the CoverGirl products after hastily grabbing them. Then, Nigel comes back and picks Esther as the winner for best makeup application in a Walmart aisle, and she gets a $1,000 Walmart gift card. These five minutes feel like the combination of about four or five different competitive reality shows, and frankly, we’re spent.
Their First Time at the Rodeo: The models meet Mr. Jay at Rodeo Drive, where he keeps repeating the name Patrick Demarchelier, because seriously, he’s really here. Though the famed French photog tells everyone to relax, they can’t, because it’s Patrick Demarchelier saying it. This shoot is all about walking, skipping and jumping down the street in a way that looks totally natural in a totally high fashion way. Tyra is there to constantly remind them of this. The girls are photographed in pairs with a male model, and then each gets a solo action shot. Kacey and Jane go first. Kacey is very intimidated, and Jane does really well. Chelsey and Ann both get nervous for different reasons, and it looks like they totally blow it. (At this point, it also becomes clear production didn’t think about crowd control on Rodeo, because Mr. Jay is actually directing people in the street himself.) Esther and Kayla go next, and Patrick really seems to like Esther. Kayla’s shoes are two sizes too small, which is unfortunate. Liz and Kendal are next, and they love Kendal. Since nine doesn’t divide evenly, Chris is by herself with the male model and delivers.
The Firing Squad: They really put Patrick Demarchelier to work! First, the panel looks at the group shots. Ann and Chelsey, defying all logic, deliver the best photo. Because Ann has proved once more that she has superpowers only used for good, Tyra does an impression of Ann’s awkward walk to demonstrate how mystified she truly is. This probably helps Ann with her shyness. As far as the individual shots go, they love Ann (“Beyond everything ever,” Andre says, borrowing a phrase out of Rachel Zoe's script), Esther, Kendal and Jane. Once the panel starts deliberating privately, they judge beauty shots we didn’t see earlier. This is confusing. They express concern over Kayla’s shoe pain face, Kacey’s lack of smize, and Chris’s Teen Vogue appeal.
Call-out Order: Ann wins for best cumulative photos. Jane is next (way to make a comeback!), followed by Kendal, Esther, Chris, Chelsey and Liz. Kacey and Kayla are the bottom two.
Rollerblading Out of Venice Beach and Into the Sunset: Kacey. The girl who won the challenge for her personality is sent home for the lack of it in her photos. “I’m never gonna get over this,” she says. (She probably will.)
The House That Tyra Built: This week’s homefront narrative consists mainly of a competition between Ann and Chelsey, except we’re not sure you can call something a competition when only one person seems to be aware of it. We’ll summarize their running commentaries with a single quote from each. Ann (tearfully, to the camera): “I actually do feel like I’m a model, and I’m not just the gangly girl who sits in the back of class.” Chelsey (with a very loud sigh): “I’m paired up with Ann. I wish I wasn’t.” That’s about as intense as it got.