Last week’s episode slowly evolved into Intervention on a runway, as the panel confronted Anamaria about her shockingly thin frame before sending her home. Now we’re back to the regular show, and guess what? It’s Christmas Day on the ANTM calendar! And under the tree are piles of hair extensions.
The House That Tyra Built: As the girls are playing poker and talking about children, Tyra strolls in wearing a messenger’s hat to let everyone know she has some news. We wonder if Ms. Banks has reached the point where not hearing constant guttural screams gives her anxiety. The girls are still surprised when she shows up somewhere, knocking over chairs and throwing bedding at the sound of her voice. She is the show’s creator and head judge. Is it that much of a stretch? Anyway, the girls give her a quick look at the bunk beds, and they head to the living room for what looks like a kindergarten storytime session, but instead of a copy of Shel Silverstein’s Where the Sidewalk Ends, Tyra holds up their portfolios and talks about the realness of high fashion. But who cares? They’re getting makeovers! Tyra gives hints about what’s in store, and then briefly comes out of retirement to walk the house runway, because sometimes, it’s nice to remember 1991.
A Strawberry-Blonde Afro: In a move that’s nothing short of inspired, Lexie – with the help of Ann and Rhianna – makes a list of the girls’ names and the makeovers Tyra has planned for them. To really sell this, Lexie writes something outrageous next to her name (the afro) and then cries when Liz finds the list and reads it. Some of girls totally fall for this, but we can’t feel too much sympathy for anyone who is duped into believing the following: that Tyra would jot down this list on loose leaf, title it “Hair Agenda,” and carry it around in her pocket. We also love that the names are in alphabetical order to make it seem legit.
The Makeovers: Let’s discuss some of the highlights (get it?). Ann gets long, coppery extensions, which look awesome. Liz’s hair is shorter, which seems to make her grumpier. Chelsey, standing by her statement that she will do anything Tyra says, gets the gap in her teeth widened and ice blonde locks. Sara gets bleached eyebrows and chocolate brown hair, which is something, but we’re not sure what. Terra gets most of her hair chopped off. Lexie gets extensions and darker color. Kayla’s hair is dyed not red, but RED! Terra and Liz have the biggest issues. There is, as per usual, a post-makeover photo shoot, but this time – can you believe it? – the stakes are higher. Ms. J and Mr. Jay announce that someone will be going home, well, right now. It’s Terra. She hates her hair and wonders why they cut it before sending her home.
Let’s Take Some Pictchas: Everyone heads to the beach, and Jay is there wearing giant black angel wings. This is related to the challenge, but it would be much better if it wasn’t. The girls pose as angels who have “fallen” for mortal men, the shirtless kind. They each pick a word (heartbroken, mysterious, rebellious, scorned fearless, etc.) and dangle from a painful-looking contraption. Each of the male models stands there looking masculine. Ann, Rhianna, Kayla, Chelsey and Chris do really well. Sara struggles to look seductive. Kendal fails to convey lust. Liz complains about the harness. The photographer says Lexie’s whole body is wrong for modeling, which is a pretty tough critique to overcome in a modeling competition.
The Firing Squad: Andre, Nigel, Tyra and guest judge Patricia Field all agreed that this shoot was pretty much a disaster. Their primary complaint seemed to be the girls’ reliance on dancer-like poses, but we don’t really blame them for falling back on those. On the other hand, they did get to pick their own words, so it might have been wise to really think about how you would dangle rebelliously.
Call-out Order: Tyra first calls Ann, Kayla, Chelsey and Chris to the front of the room, like the four good students in class who had nothing to do with other troublemakers. Ann has the best photo. After that, the order is Rhianna, Liz, Jane, Kacey, Kendal and Esther. Lexie and Sara are the bottom two.
Rollerblading Out of Venice Beach and Into the Sunset: Sara, who gets to return home to her son, but regrets having left him in the first place.