Every Time JJ Lane Spoke the Truth on ‘Bachelor in Paradise’
Undoubtedly, the biggest surprise of Bachelor in Paradise’s season season — aside from Joe Bailey’s evil turn — was former Bachelorette baddie JJ Lane’s redemption, as the one-time villain suddenly became the voice of the people!
So how did the man who admitted to cheating on his wife win us all over? For one, he stood up for all of his lady friends in Paradise, from Joe Bailey-wronged single mom Juelia Kinney to close friend Tenley Molzahn, who he believed deserved better than Joshua Albers. He also had an epic exit from the show when he gave Ashley Salter his rose because he wanted her to find love — even if he didn’t.
But when it comes down to it, the best part about JJ is his one-liners. The man who uttered “villains gotta vill” on Bachelorette 2015 continued his clever bon mots this BiP season, and we’re forever thankful. Read on for the former finance bro’s most quotable moments from Season 2:
JJ Being Self-Aware
“Tenley and I have a burgeoning relationship. Why the hell does she like me?”
The boy has a healthy sense of himself.
JJ Referencing Foreign Policy in an Insult
“Giving Josh a date card is like giving the nuclear codes to an insane asylum. It doesn’t end well.”
It sure doesn’t!
JJ Referencing Board Games in an Insult
“I’m playing chess, Josh is playing tic tac toe. It’s not a fair fight.”
#Truth — though checkers might have been the better analogy.
JJ Waxing Poetically About Joe’s Defensiveness
“All Joe is is a circular reference — it’s repeating every time. And he’s never going to step out and build a straight edge.”
That’s deep, bro!
JJ Calling Joe What He Is
“I’m going to make him look like the hillbilly he is, because he’s going to go home with about four missing f—king teeth.”
Because not since Wedding Crashers has someone being called a “hillbilly” been so funny.
JJ Standing by His Preppy-dom
“Pastel’s not a strategy, it’s a lifestyle. It’s an ethos.”
Nantucket would be happy to have you, JJ.
Bachelor in Paradise's Season 2 finale airs tonight, September 7 at 8 p.m. ET on ABC.