Ermahgerd! This week’s edition of Bachelor in Paradise is a double header, meaning we are in Paradise indeed! Double the drama, double the brainiac quotes, double the makeouts, and double the love triangles — how will we survive it? We’re thinking double the wine is a good place to start…

So how does Part 1, which airs tonight, August 25, kick things off in the drama department? ABC’s press release promises it’s one we don’t wanna miss. This time, the women have the flower power but the men get to give out date cards. Episode 4 starts with Robert Graham choosing Sarah Herron for a date over Michelle Money, which leaves Michelle hugging her knees with the sads. Don’t worry Michelle, they’re probably just gonna go look at some ruins.


While Michelle’s twiddling her thumbs and looking for Clare Crawley’s raccoon, a new Bachelor arrives in the form of Cody Sattler, the muscle man of Andi Dorfman’s season of The Bachelorette. Here’s hoping his tank tops are V-necks too… Cody asks out Clare, who declines because she’d rather keep smooching on Zack Kalter. Little does she know, Zack’s had his eye on Jackie Parr this whole time and probably would have given Cody his blessing — and paid for dinner to keep them out on the town longer!

Rejected by Clare, Cody gives his date card to good buddy Marcus Grodd so Cody can scope the scene in the house and Marcus can “continue to build his blossoming relationship with Lacy Faddoul.” Oh good — more mutual admiration over each other’s pretty eyes. As Michelle said last week, those two should just “go get engaged already” and make some room in Paradise for an infusion of drama.

Bachelor numero dos joins the house and asks out Michelle. She says yes then regrets it and does a take back. Who would Michelle turn down? The infamous Kalon McMahon, the helicopter hopper Emily Maynard went backwoods West Virginia hoodrat (her words) on when he called her daughter Ricki “baggage.” Michelle is also a single mama, so we’re betting his bad rep outweighed her need for everything to come up roses.

According to Reality Steve, Kalon also asks out Jackie and Sarah, who both say “thanks, but…” Finally he goes on his date by himself, enjoying a “lonely day of rappelling and swimming.” Wah wah wahhhhh.

This episode gets a big twist in the form of a third new Bachelor entering the house — we’re assuming to reset the balance left by Chris Bukowski’s untimely exit. Who is it? Hottie Jesse Kovacs (a Jillian Harris cast-off and Bachelor Pad alum) arrives in Paradise and wastes no time romancing Jackie. Marquel Martin gives a sad face and wishes he hadn’t let Danielle Ronco go so fast.

Meanwhile, back at casa crazy, AshLee Frazier is continuing to make friends by gossiping about Clare. An “epic confrontation” ensues, leaving a bad taste in the mouth of Graham and Zack, the two men “courting” these ladies pretty much against their wills.

Heading into the Rose Ceremony, basically everyone but Marcus and Lacy is worried. So who is at risk, and who will sail through another week? Tune in tonight to find out!

Bachelor in Paradise airs tonight, August 25 at 8 p.m. ET on ABC.

Can you believe how much drama is already happening in just four weeks? What’s been your favorite storyline so far? Tell us in the comments.

Source: ABC, Reality Steve