Bachelorette 2015 Premiere WTFs: “Two Bachelorettes, That’s the Joke”
SHAWN EVANS in the Bachelorette Premiere
Credit: ABC/Rick Rowell    

The Bachelorette

Bachelorette 2015 Premiere WTFs: “Two Bachelorettes, That’s the Joke”

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Early in the season, The Bachelorette is an embarrassment of riches. There’s such an array of characters to watch each episode, with all the contestants cast for our amusement still on the show (hi, Tony Harris, Ashley Salter, et al).

 

Around this time, the dates are mishmashes of ridiculous stunts, often involving washed up rappers, guys fighting each other, and a free-for-all for time with the Bachelorette. And it all begins on with the season premiere, which we just enjoyed with Kaitlyn Bristowe and Britt Nilsson on Monday and Tuesday (May 18 and 19). Here are the WTF-iest moments of this week’s show.

1. Kaitlyn’s joke hits a little close to home

Britt Nilsson and Kaitlyn Bristowe in the Bachelorette 2015 Premiere
Credit: ABC video still    

Kaitlyn Bristowe is famous for her ice-breaking jokes. But for her first order of business upon walking into the cocktail party post-limo exits, Kaitlyn told a joke that went like this: “Knock Knock” (Who’s There?) “Two Bachelorettes” (Two Bachelorette’s Who?) “That’s the joke!” Yeah, we get it, but man, that had to be the most awkward way to point Britt Nilsson toward the door of all time.

2. The Ryan McDill disaster

Ryan McDill

Do we really have to rehash what a disaster it was when Nikki Ferrell’s ex, Ryan McDill, went on the show? It seemed to start fine, with kind of a funny entrance and what seemed like an actual interest in Kaitlyn. But somewhere around the eighth shot of Fireball, a butt graze, and a rape comment, we were stiffly waiting for him to leave and wishing he’d never arrived. The glaring takeaway: We get it, Nikki, no wonder you thought Juan Pablo wasn’t so bad.

3. The sexist two Bachelorette gimmick

Kaitlyn Bristowe

The gimmick of having two Bachelorettes and letting the guys choose was horribly sexist, defining these two women as aggressors who must destroy one another to survive. Furthermore, it took their upper hand out of the equation, in a way that doesn’t feel necessary with an already marginalized group of people.

 

The fact that the remaining Bachelorette had to then choose from men who voted against her only accentuates this lack of control and comfort in the situation. Jonathan said that he was afraid Kait would find out he’d voted for Britt, and Jared felt like he’d possibly committed a misstep in telling her he had; Brady pulled her aside and then quit.

 

In her ITM, Kaitlyn didn’t say, “I wish the guys who were here for Britt would go.” Rather, she said she hoped she’d get a chance for the guys to get to know her, to like her. That’s a problem. It’s her season, and sure there’s a certain amount of balance in a relationship (even on this show), but her focus should be figuring out what she wants, not if they want her.

4. The rose ceremony that could’ve waited

Kaitlyn Bristowe in the Premiere

Really, producers? You’re so anxious to move this along, you have to have a rose ceremony five minutes after Kaitlyn takes the reins as Bachelorette? Both Kait and Britt were so focused on showing themselves to the guys, it’s hard to imagine they got to spend as much time sussing out their dudes as their predecessors did. Instead, Kaitlyn should’ve been gifted a night’s sleep and a pool party with the guys. Everyone wins with a pool party.

5. The hot tub car

Bachelorette premiere SHAWN Evans, KAITLYN BRISTOWE, and BRITT NILSSON
Credit: Rick Rowell/ABC Television Group © 2015 Disney    

Okay, okay, sorry Shawn Evans. We know that Ryan McDill already told you how much it sucks, but it really wasn’t the best way to arrive. Want to make Kaitlyn laugh? Awesome. But just hire a guy to drive one of those Escalade-like trucks with a hot tub in the back. Sit in it in a tux-print swimsuit or something… There’s just nothing less sexy than a nervous guy emerging with soaking wet pants stuck to his legs and a wide, shiny tie. Sorry, pal. We hope you at least got to take it with you when you left and cruised down Sunset Blvd.