I Watched ‘The Bachelorette’ For the First Time and Have So Many Questions
ALEX, JOJO FLETCHER
Credit: Rick Rowell/ABC Television Group © 2016 Disney    

The Bachelorette

I Watched ‘The Bachelorette’ For the First Time and Have So Many Questions

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I admit it: I’ve never watched The Bachelorette. I’ve never even seen The Bachelor.

Or at least that was true until last night, May 23, when I tuned into the Bachelorette Season 12 premiere. I’m not quite sure why I finally decided to watch one woman’s heavily orchestrated and edited search for love, but I have a few ideas.

Bachelor Nation fans were promised diversity and I wanted to see if that was true. Plus, I work here at Wetpaint so I hear about Bachelor(ette) so much. Like, you have no idea how much. And UnReal was my favorite new show last year — why not tune in?

NEWS: JoJo Fletcher: There Is More Diversity in My Group of Guys

Now I have, and I’m left with so many questions. Take a look below for the 13 burning a hole in my brain: that’s 12 for each season and one for good luck!

Why did JoJo Fletcher introduce herself to Bland Man Ben Higgins in a unicorn mask last season? But she’s so beautiful.

Is Ben trash? The Bachelorette Season 12 opener makes him seem like bland trash. How don’t more people hate him?

Why do people keep putting this gorgeous woman in ugly clothes? She was pensively wearing a denim tuxedo.

PHOTOS: Find Out Bachelorette JoJo’s Final Four Guys

Does Bachelor(ette) always make the star walk around in various outfits alone? Sitting solo on a beach while cameras document your every move seems very sad.  

How are these people OK with picking a husband out of literally 20-something dudes? Aren't they worried the producers missed someone? Considering math, that seems likely...

When someone has an absurd "profession," does that just mean they're unemployed? Looking at you, “Bachelor Superfan” and “Hipster.”  

Oh, they have the contestants do that awkward, solo brooding thing too? Because the hot guy from Texas is so good at it. I think he’s been practicing.

PHOTOS: Definitive Proof That All of JoJo’s Contestants Look Exactly the Same

Do the contestants usually limit their conversation with other people who look exactly like them? There are entire rooms filled with men who look like octuplets.

Are all the roses stemless? It looks like someone’s psychotic ex chopped up the first impression rose. (I realized at the end of the episode they’re lapel roses — since real men don’t hold stems)

NEWS: JoJo Fletcher’s Dating History: Her Pre-Bachelorette 2016 Love Life

She has one of those "You're not like other girls. You're so much better" guys? Newsflash: Men who say this are secret misogynists, CHAD.

Do none of the contestants know producers are trying to get them drunk? I've never watched this and I know.

OK, but really, do these guys confuse each other for themselves? About 12 of them share the exact same face. They must think they’re walking by a mirror instead of another person.

Do producers actually give these people psych evaluations? UnReal says they do and I'm not seeing the evidence here, CHAD.

The Bachelorette airs Mondays at 8p.m. ET on ABC.

Check out more of Wetpaint’s coverage of The Bachelorette below:

SPOILER: Find Out Who Bachelorette JoJo Fletcher Picks!

JoJo Responds to Plastic Surgery Rumors

Chris Harrison Gives His 5 Bachelorette Guys to Watch!

Which of JoJo’s Guys Are Heading to Paradise?

Does This Tweet Mean Juan Pablo Is Actually Joining JoJo's Bachelorette?!