Credit: Mark Mainz/Getty Images Photo: Emily Deschanel and David Boreanaz at the Fox Summer TCA Party on July 25, 2006

So maybe you don’t have a Seeley Booth (David Boreanaz) in your life, even if you may be sorely wanting one. But what if there’s a way brainy-but-somewhat-socially-awkward beauty gracing you with her presence on the weekends? Do you have your own personal Brennan (Emily Deschanel)?

1. Let’s just put this out there: as a forensic anthropologist, Brennan has to be kind of obsessed with death. And if you’re looking for death-related items, then boy, do we have the website for you. Check out Pushin’ Daisies, where you can get pretty much any funereal accessories you’d want, from candy to (dead) flowers to coffin-shaped gift boxes! And this one serves a dual purpose: not only will your Brennan enjoy the death aspect of the gift, but she’ll go nuts speculating on the anthropological implications of a store totally devoted to stuff like this!

2. Again on the anthropology front (because let’s face it: if you’re calling this chick the Brennan in your life, she’s got to be pretty anthropologically inclined), your Brennan should probably have at least one season of The Jersey Shore. Remember how delighted the real Brennan was by the customs and mores in the guido community (“The Maggots in the Meathead,” Season 6, Episode 3)? A compendium of detailed Snookie-isms will doubtless delight our damsel.

3. Another way in which Brennan scores brainy points is her mastery of pretty much every single language. But even a polyglot like our Brennan has to brush up every so often, right? And our own polyglot staff could recommend no better tool in this vein than the 501 Verbs series. There’s a whole spectrum of tongues, from Spanish to Russian to Japanese. And since we’re pretty sure your Brennan knows every one of these languages (and then some), you couldn’t buy too many of them if you tried.

4. Of course, there’s got to be more to your Brennan than all this professorial stuff. Surely she must have a soft, feminine side, right? So you’d better get your girl some jewelry — and if she’s fit to be compared to Brennan, then you know she’ll love anything dolphin-themed. (Big-time Bones fans will recall that Brennan got a dolphin ring memento from her late mother.) Every kiss might begin with Kay, but if you want to warm your Brennan’s heart, your gift will begin with D.

 Et voilà: four stellar gifts to lavish upon the one girl in your life who makes you think warmly and fondly of Temperance Brennan. Got any ideas we didn’t cover here?

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