The only thing worse than being caught peeping into a women's locker room is being caught peeping into a women's locker room, tumbling into a flower bed, and unearthing the skeletal remains of a decomposed body — which is exactly how this week's stack of Bones fossils are discovered.
Brennan (Emily Deschanel) and Booth (David Boreanaz) are called over to the scene, with Hodgins (TJ Thyne) in tow, and before long everyone's favorite bug-loving entomologist discovers a whole treasure — or treasure trove if you're a bug-loving entomologist — of hookworms. Based on the worms' movements, as well as a whole lot of dead-person bathroom talk that we needn't get into now, Hodgins and Brennan deduce that the body's been buried for 3 days, 8 hours, and 45 minutes. Surprised at the pair's terrifying accuracy? Nah, we didn't think so!
Back at the Jeff, Bones concludes that the cause of death for the victim was one hell of a serious smackdown with a blunt object. Angela (Michaela Conlin), meanwhile, decodes the SmartKey found near the victim's body and informs everyone that the bones belong to a man named Roy Dixon — or, rather, they used to belong to him. And while Booth and Sweets (John Francis Daley) busy themselves inspecting Dixon's swinging minimalist bachelor pad, a cash-strapped Wendell (who — poor guy! — couldn't even nab the bartending job he applied for) nervously approaches Cam (Tamara Taylor) about taking on more squintern hours. Cam shoots him down, even though Wendell pleads poverty and essentially begs for the gig. Way harsh!
Dead-man Dixon's ex-boss — who, in the past, had been videotaped smacking the poor guy in the face with an oversize advertising award (ouch!) — is dragged in for questioning, and she reveals some pretty interesting facts about our victim. About a year ago, Dixon joined a support group — which, frankly, sounds more like a cult — that preaches something called "radical honesty." And while the group maintains that telling the truth, regardless of the outcome, is the "true" path to personal liberation, everyone in Dixon's life thinks he's a class-A J-hole for speaking his mind.
On their way to check out the truth-loving cult group in action, Booth and Bones debate the merits of radical honesty. Bones says a world without lies would be her Candyland (obvs), but Booth maintains that a little white lie never hurt anybody, adding that he's told her a fib or two over the years. Yes, that news flash goes down with Bones about as well as you'd imagine. Anyway, B&B's non-lovers lovers' quarrel is cut short when they arrive at the honesty group's meeting, which — shocker! — is at the same community center where the body was discovered. Twist!
After meeting the slick-talking Jim Jones-esque leader, who's also a lawyer, Booth asks the rest of the group if anyone had a bone to pick with Dixon. Much to Booth's horror, a red-nosed clown steps forward to reveal he hated Dixon for talking smack about his clown routine. Even though he's desperate to solve the case, a clown-phobic Booth orders someone — anyone! — to cuff the big-shoed freak. (Side note: We totally get your clown anxiety, B. Clowns. Are. The. Worst.)
Back at the Jefferson, radical-honesty fever has surpassed Bieber fever as the new big thing. After a rousing game of "let me tell you what I really think" with Hodgins, Wendell, high on the sweet fumes of truth-telling, decides to administer a heaping dose of "keeping it real" to Cam. With his head held high, Wendell tells his boss that he actually needs the job — not just because he's a way-helpful, crime-solving superstar, but also because he, unlike his colleagues, is brokesville. Swayed by Bray's charmingly honest appeal for cash, Cam caves and tells the poor guy the job's all his. Score!
Meanwhile, in another corner of the Jeff, Hodgins corners Sweets about Angela. Back at the top of the episode, Angela vents to Sweets over a catch-up breakfast, spilling that Hodgins is being unbearably overbearing. After she sends one of his calls straight to voicemail (rookie mistake!), Hodgins starts to cop that something is rotten in Denmark. Anyway, Sweets urges Hodgins to stop his damned whining; drink the radical honesty-flavored Kool-Aid that everyone else seems to be swallowing; and have an open conversation with the soon-to-be mother of his child. Jack listens, and he and Ang finally have a much-needed heart-to-heart in which they both admit to constantly dancing around the fact that their baby could be born blind. They both confess to being justifiably scared about the possibly blind-baby endeavor, and they hug and kiss and promise to keep being open with one another. At least one good thing comes out of the creepy truth-telling cult, right?
Anyway, back to the case at hand! Long story short, the all-too-honest clown (who, it becomes clear, loves two things in life: hookers and his own flatulence) tells Sweets that he didn't knock off Dixon, but that the dead guy had mentioned dinner plans to him the night he disappeared. A quick analysis of the contents of Dixon's guts reveals not only the victim's love of obscure pizza toppings (truffles? Who knew!), but also the fact that he raised one pretty angry son. A son who, as it turns out, didn't bump off his father — but did see his dear old dad chatting up a woman with a neck brace the night he died.
The woman in question, Dorothy, turns out to be another loony from Dixon's truth-telling club; while she's more-than-willing to confess to having had an adulterous affair with Dixon, she stops short of admitting to the murder and begs for a lawyer. Sounds a bit fishy for someone who's supposed to tell the truth all the time, right? Her legal representation turns out to be — you guessed it! — the creepo lawyer who runs the whole radical honesty group. He claims that Dorothy physically couldn't have bludgeoned poor ole Dixon to death, because she broke her clavicle in a car accident (in which the dead guy just happened to be a passenger).
Because she's 10 shades of super-smart, Brennan orders a copy of Dorothy's X-rays which — would you believe it? — turn out to be scans of someone of an entirely different race. Whoops! Anyway, B&B figure out that the slimeball lawyer was trying to use Dotty's faked injury to win beaucoup bucks in a scam-job lawsuit; when do-gooder Dixon caught wind of his mentor's very dishonest plan, the lawyer beat him to death. The smoking gun, so to speak? A piece of jungle-gym equipment with the lawyer's dirty little paw prints all over it that the super-cute crime-solving duo Hodgela finds.
Bones and Booth celebrate solving another dastardly crime with a few ice-cold beers; after a little pressing, Booth finally decides to 'fess up to a lie he's told Bones in the past. He reveals that when he broke up with Hannah, he never told Bones how much it meant that she was there for him. "It meant the world to me," he tells her (swoon!). As another great Bones episode draws to a close, the pair toast "to things we don't say." Awww.
Don't miss next week's all-new Bones, "The Signs in the Silence":
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