Jeez, does anyone else feel the need for a shrink after last night’s “The Feet on the Beach”? There’s so much questionable behavior we’re not sure if we should call a psychiatrist or the Pope. Guess South Park was right: Blame Canada!
We don’t even get to the first commercial before the sketchy behavior starts. Angela (Michaela Conlin) walks in to find Hodgins (TJ Thyne) opening Cam’s (Tamara Taylor) mail. But no, that’s not the worst part. Upon reading Michelle’s acceptance letter to Columbia, Hodgela realizes that Cam applied to the Ivy League school for her adopted daughter. See? Bad!
While Cam does a little happy dance, Booth (David Boreanaz) and Brennan (Emily Deschanel) head to upstate New York to investigate a group of feet that are unable to dance — because they’re missing their owners. The dismembered body parts washed ashore on the U.S.-Canadian border, and Bones runs into a professional acquaintance, Dr. Douglas Filmore (Scott Lowell), at this international crime scene.
Dr. Filmore, a Canadian “forensic podiatrist,” is also there to investigate the feet, but he has to do it with only one working arm: His right hand became paralyzed after he read a report by Brennan in which she refuses to acknowledge his field of work because “it’s not an officially recognized discipline.” Sheesh, harsh much?
Brennan won’t apologize, but she invites the doctor back to the Jeffersonian to help on the case. This overture has more to do with the fact that Brennan doesn’t have jurisdiction over the feet, because they were on the Canadian side of the border. Fortunately for the disheartened Canuck, he’s left to do his thing with more supportive members of the Jeffersonian team.
Meanwhile, B&B investigate the University of Hogansburg’s body farm. This farm, which has nothing to do with cute barn animals, lost seven corpses in a recent flood, and those bodies are the sources of the dismembered feet. But this doesn’t explain a mysterious eighth pair of feet.
Brennan is a little too giddy on their first tour of the farm. Is she on something?
It would be understandable, because Hodgins finds cannabis particles on one of the victim’s sneakers — the extra feet belong to a missing grad student who was harvesting marijuana plants at the body farm.
Hodgins looks into the array of insects that descended on the body, many of which are not typical of the area. After checking out their stomachs to see what food made their trip worth it, he learns that all of them ingested a gel potent enough to attract bugs from miles away. That many bugs on one body would have sped up decomposition, meaning the murder happened more recently than the team initially thought.
Ironically enough, only one of the suspects has an alibi that had him out of town at the original time of death, thereby making it impossible for him to be the killer. Not anymore. When B&B interrogate their body farm tour guide, they learn that the grad student returned from his trip to find a fellow student growing weed near the site of his main research project. The plant contaminated his project, and he feared he would fail because of it. When he threatened to destroy the pot plants with the farm’s riding lawnmower, the pot harvester refused to move, losing his feet to the mower and bleeding to death.
In the end, with the mystery solved, Booth and Brennan celebrate over drinks at the Founding Fathers. And there’s lots to celebrate: Brennan apologizes — or rather “contrites” — to Dr. Filmore (in her own way, of course); the forensic podiatrist regains use of his right arm (after Bones apologizes, of course); Michelle opts to not go to Columbia this year, but to reapply and get in on her own next year; and in a touching moment, Booth reveals to Brennan, “I know what kind of person that you are, and I think you should let other people in on the secret too.”
Brennan also divulges some other little secrets that she feels “contrite” about: “I feel contrite that I think your socks are silly. Also, I am contrite that I think you are foolhardy in your approach to a cup of coffee.”
These aren’t quite the secrets we want her to let Booth in on, but we can rest easy knowing that there are six more all-new episodes left in which B&B can make it past “just partners.”
Check out this preview for next week’s “The Truth in the Myth.” Maybe Brennan will finally speak the truth? You know what we’re talking about, Bones!
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