It's double the pleasure double the fun on this week's episode of Bones!
That's right guys, the Jeffersonian discovers not one, but two dead bodies (OMG, jackpot!), which means all their dreams are coming true. This is almost as exciting as that time Brennan (Emily Deschanel) pushed Baby Christine out of her lady parts next to a possibly rabid donkey in a possibly bacteria-infested barn.
You might think Booth (David Boreanaz) and Brennan would need the occasional break from fondling human remains, but nope. Dead bodies are popping up all over Washington D.C., and someone has to solve these murders because Bo The Dog can't do it by himself. Which brings us to B&B, who head over to a ditch (as ya do), find two sets of remains, and haul them to The Jeffersonian for analysis.
Turns out the victims are covered in bugs, and you know what that means! Everyone's favorite maggot-lover is on the case, and he's more pervertedly excited than ever. Yep, Hodgins (TJ Thyne) spends most of this episode chatting with his insect friends (at this point, they're the only species who tolerate him), and yes — he pulverizes their poor innocent bodies in a coffee grinder "because of science." We don't even know anymore with this dude.
Anyway, thanks to all kinds of nerdy things that we fail to understand, Brennan and her team discover that the double grave was home to a terminal cancer patient named Monica Craig, as well as the victim, Rachel Knox, who was Monica's "death doula."
Naturally, this causes Booth and Brennan to slip into an existential crisis about their own deaths. Turns out Booth wants all his material objects to go to Brennan (uhmmm....because apparently Parker no longer exists), whereas Brennan has divided her investments between all her family members. We smell tension! And blood. And unwashed Hodgins beard.
Wherefore Art Thou, Lancelot?
Remember when Sweets (John Francis Daley) and Daisy (Carla Gallo) whiled away their days having semi-public sex in Brennan's office? And remember when they were moving in together, and then Sweets was like "oh wait, you disgust me" and stomped all over Daisy's heart? Those were not good times — mostly because it led to Sweets squatting in Booth and Brennan's house like some kind of tragic feral animal.
But back to Daisy. This lovely lady is once again working at The Jeff, and as you might expect it's super awkward. Sweets and Daisy clearly still have feelings for each other, but everything is extremely tense and femurific, plus there's a dead corpse chilling out on a table (which is a slight turn-off). Sadly, these two decide their breakup was for the best — despite the fact that they're clearly in love — so it doesn't look like they'll be getting back together anytime soon.
In other news, Sweets hasn't had sex in six months. Looks like he's a reclaimed virgin, so someone better call TLC.
While Sweets and Daisy try not to have public sex, Booth and Brennan head over to Green Pastures to meet Rachel's fellow death dulas and chill out with some hemp and patchouli. Basically, this is woodstock all over again but with dead people.
After interviewing a bunch of hookah-smoking randoms and holding hands with Green Pasture's traumatized founder Mr. Mirza, B&B learn that Rachel was pretty much the most hated dulah this side of Bo the Dog's crate (yes, we will be referencing him as much as possible). Plus Rachel had some crazy rule that she'd only have a sexual partner for three months at a time — and Mr. Mirza was her last hump-budy! OMG, did he kill her with his mullet?!
Who knows, but all kinds of revelations are going down at The Jeffersonian. First, Hodgins discovers that Rachel was hit in the face seven months prior to her death (no worries, just a mere tantric sex injury), then Angela discovers that she was murdered with a stone burial marker, and finally Daisy realizes that Monica's cancer didn't actually kill her! You know what that means — two murders for the price of one!
Turns out Monica's husband helped her mercy-kill herself with bath salts (oh, the horror), but he isn't off the hook yet! Mr. Craig was also having an affair with Rachel, and he flew into a love-fueled frenzy when she broke up with him right after his wife's death, prompting him to kill her with a gravestone! Yikes. judging you, buddy.
Also guys? Hodgins wants to be shot into the sun when he dies. And since we expect someone to kill him any day now, this might be important to keep in mind. Oh, and Brennan wants to be dismembered by a bunch of vultures, which we find totally acceptable.