No offense, Baby Michael, but Brennan (Emily Deschanel) and Booth's (David Boreanaz) sweet baby Christine is the cutest child of all time. She's so adorable that even the crazies who lurk around our nation's capitol worship her, but will Double B be able to handle their day jobs while bathing this baber's feet in holy water? That remains to be seen!
Well, it looks like Brennan and Booth are adjusting perfectly to being parents of a gifted child. Baby Christine can wink — a skill that Baby Michael still hasn't learned (fail, ZZ Top) — and we're pretty much convinced that she's a super genius. Sadly, Booth and Brennan have to get back to work at the Jeffersonian, which means Baby Christine has to go into daycare with a bunch of plebeians who drool on themselves. Brennan's stressed about the prospect of leaving her progeny in the hands of strangers, but a baby mama's gotta do what a baby mama's gotta do!
When remains are found splattered all over the freeway, Brennan and Booth reluctantly ditch their baby and head over to the crime scene to check out what appears to be murder. Unfortunately, things take a turn for the unusual as Brennan brags lovingly about Christine and accidentally texts a picture of the remains to the daycare. Well, there go her hopes and dreams of becoming prez of the PTA.
Over at the Jeffersonian, Hodgins (TJ Thyne) and new squintern Finn (Luke Kleintank) examine the victim's body and realize that she was dragged along the highway by an eighteen wheeler, while Special Agent Genny Shaw (Tina Majorino) uses her math whiz skills to determine the identity of the driver! Meanwhile, Angela (Michaela Conlin) and Hodgins (TJ Thyne) take apart the victim's bra and realize that it's stuffed full of coupons.
This calls for some serious investigating, so Brennan puts on her Carmen Sandiego coat (by the way, where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?) and she and Booth interview the driver — only to find the victim's head lodged in his truck! They also find a pair of ladies underwear, but don't worry — they belong to the driver, not to the victim. That's right, Bones is tackling gender norms one episode at a time.
Brennan and Booth are determined to check up on Baby Christine as much as possible, so they take a quick pit stop at the daycare, where Brennan briefs Booth on murder deets and simultaneously traumatizes several innocent children. After Hodgins swings by with the news that the he examined the victim's snot and found out where she lived (there goes lunch), Booth hops in his car and interviews the victim's hubby. He reveals that his wife's name was Barb, and she was a couponing addict. This officially just became the best Bones episode of all time!
B&B delve head-first into a world of discount jello and bulk diapers, and hit up Fields Market, where the friendly store owner, Chad, introduces them to a violent cashier. She tells them that Barb was part of a couponing club, and you know what that means: More investigating! Psshhh, don't Booth and Brennan know they could just turn on TLC for an Extreme Couponing marathon and save buckets of research time?
Meanwhile, love is brewing in the Jeffersonian, and we're not just talking about our relationship with Booth. Cam's (Tamara Taylor) daughter, Michelle (Tiffany Hines), has the hots for intern Finn, and Cam is less than thrilled when they make a date. Probably because he might have murdered his dad...awkward. Finn takes Michelle to a bluegrass concert for their big night out (why are we not surprised?), and then they proceed to makeout in the middle of an abandoned parking lot. Oh, Abernathy. How we love you and your middle-parted, free-flowing hair.
Unfortunately, Cam tells Michelle that she isn't allowed to date Finn, which doesn't go over well. Finn gets all Prince Charming on Cam and offers to quit his job instead of breaking up with Michelle (reminder: they've only been dating for, like, five minutes), but luckily, Cam caves and gives them her blessing. Ah, young love!
After a busy morning of looking hunky, Booth and Sweets head to Barb's couponing club to get in touch with their inner middle-aged shopping addicts, and they promptly arrest the "Deal Diva." Honestly, this lady has so many coupons up in her grill, we're surprised we haven't see her on Hoarders: Buried Alive.
After Booth and Sweets (John Francis Daley) interview the Diva (who has the perfect alibi — extreme couponing), Booth bonds with his protege, Special Agent Shaw, and learns that she has a baby. Sigh, babies are seriously exploding out of everyone's ovaries on this show! Shaw tells Booth that Barb's hubby was having an affair — but don't get too excited, he isn't the killer. Brennan analyzes a fragment of metal and realizes that Barb was killed with a pointed object covered in ink, which leads her to Chad, the seemingly friendly store owner. Turns out he killed Barb with his clipboard because she was dashing his organic produce dreams with her tacky hobby. Sigh, hippies.
After a busy day saving muggles, B&B head back to their house to cuddle with Christine, where Brennan promptly breaks down into tears. Poor lady can't handle being at work without Christine (especially after she finds out that Angela's hiding Baby Michael in a filing cabinet), and to make matters worse she's taken to lactating all over the Jeffersonian. What's a baby mama to do?
Don't worry, with the help of Booth (aka World's Best Dad — except to kids named Parker), we're sure Brennan will get through this. Also, call us crazy but we think couponing could be a perfect hobby for these two. Can't you just see them sippin' on two-for-one beers while staring in awe at a wall of discount diapers?