Prada policeman Eric Anderson knows this all too well! After a spoiled socialite's pervy boyfriend stumbles (literally) across a body in his girlfriend's shower, Booth and Brennan investigate a murder that leads them into the back-kitchen world of designer handbag counterfeiting. Of course, they find their man... all while dealing with the fallout from Brennan's emotional revelation in "The Doctor in the Photo."
Hats off to the Bones writers for this one: The corpse has been sitting under multiple running shower heads for three days, so it's severely decomposed and riddled with holes from the water pressure. Brennan's initial examination reveals that the victim was a woman in her mid-20s. If you aren't already queasy, the following sequence seals the deal: As Brennan, Cam, and Booth lean over the clogged drain to examine a mass of skin and bone fragments, Hodgins, who's up on the roof, snakes it, blowing all the organic matter into their faces. It isn't pretty. Brennan tells them to scrape the evidence into bags… and be careful not to swallow.
Back at the lab, an unusually chatty (like woah, dude, simmer down) Clark Edison determines that the victim died from blunt force trauma to the back of her head.
The team operates under the assumption that the body in the shower is that of socialite Paisley Johnston, the owner of said shower (and the really nice home it's in). After perusing her Facebook records, Booth and Sweets find that she had a recent falling out with her bestie, Nicole Twist. What clues them in? After months of gushing on her wall, Nicole suddenly called her a bitch. They're frenemies now, obvs!
The team brings Nicole in for questioning, and she reveals the reason for their fight: Paisley gave Nicole a Chanel double-flap black lambskin purse with silver hardware, but Nicole can't wear silver! As if! Can't you see her skin tone? She wanted gold. When she took the purse back to Chanel, they arrested her because the bag was — gasp! — fake. That called for an immediate de-friending!
Back at Paisley's, Hodgins pulls a mass of hair and a scrap of paper with Chinese writing on it from the drain. At the lab, Edison and Brennan realize that the victim cannot be Paisley Johnston, because the length of the femur indicates the victim was Asian. She also had scoliosis. Brennan puts two and two together and figures out that the mysterious paper contains a Chinese spell used to cure bone ailments.
Booth and Brennan visit the Chinese herb shop where Jenny Yang, the victim, got the paper. The store owner admits that he was engaged to Yang, but that things were not going well. She was losing her heritage, seeming to care more about her American friends than anything else. Including him.
Booth and Brennan then hit the Chinese restaurant where Jenny Yang worked. Turns out she was helping Mamma Liu, the owner, deliver fake handbags that were stashed in the kitchen. Just then Metro Police break in and arrest Mama Liu. The guy leading the investigation is Eric Anderson, head of the counterfeit division. Booth smirks at this, calling him the "Prada police." Anderson has heard it all though: "Gucci gumshoes. Rolex Roughriders." He tells Booth to take his best shot. Perhaps not the smartest thing to say to a trained sniper...
Paisley Johnston finally surfaces after taking so many pills she needs to have her stomach pumped. Booth questions her and learns two important tidbits: Jenny knew where Paisley kept the key to her place, and Paisley's boyfriend likes to watch his naughty gf knock boots with other guys via a strategically placed Teddy Bear Cam. Meanwhile, Brennan determines that someone cracked Jenny's skull by picking her up and smashing her down onto the fancy shower nozzles in Paisley's apartment. Eesh.
Thanks to some porn-viewing/work, Booth and Sweets discover that a mystery guy slept with Jenny just minutes before the murder. Trouble is, they can't see his face. After the team nixes Jenny's fiance as a possible suspect, Angela gets down to some seriously amazing video sleuthing. She pieces together the suspect's visage using all the reflective surfaces — the chrome sphere on the lamp, the wine glass, a cube-shaped box on one side of the room, and another box on the opposite side — in the bedroom. The perp? Prada policeman Eric Anderson, who admits to having had an affair with Yang.
Jenny took him to Paisley's the night of the murder to show him the purses. They fooled around, and in the shower she started freaking out about Mama Liu's planned arrest; she wanted Anderson to take Paisley down instead. When he refused, she threatened to tell his boss about their affair. That's when he snapped. The bastard didn't even shut off the water after he killed her.
BOOTH, BRENNAN, AND HANNAH
Throughout this whole icky investigation, Booth, Brennan, and Hannah come to grips with Brennan's confession that she still has feelings for her (supremely sexy) partner. To get the ball rolling, Booth tells Sweets what Brennan said, and Sweets, in true psychologist form, asks him if he still has feelings for Brennan. Booth, in true Special Agent form, avoids the question.
Booth must consider it eventually, though, because he opts to come clean with Hannah. They're at a bar, and Hannah takes it all very well — she's calm, reasonable, and even asks Booth about how he feels. Booth responds, "It's all in the past. Whatever I felt, I don't feel it anymore. Except for you."
Hannah says she knew Booth and Brennan were close, but she had no idea. Still, she's happy he told her. "If I found out you were keeping it from me, then I'd worry," she says. "And then I'd kill you." She's kidding, of course, but she does wonder what the heck she's going to say to Brennan from now on. Awkward!
After Hannah cancels lunch with her for the umpteenth time, Brennan takes Angela's advice and confronts Hannah about why she's playing hard to get. Hannah, who's on her way to meet with the President (of the United States, natch), admits that she now knows how Brennan feels about Seeley. Brennan is shocked that Booth would spill something like that to Hannah. Well, Brennan, they are a couple. And couples do tell each other things. In the world's most mature and reasonable statement ever, Hannah says to Brennan, "I wasn't avoiding you. I'm just confused. I don't want to do anything to mess up your friendship with Seeley. Or my friendship with you." Guess that means no cat fight?
Instead, Brennan and Hannah go out for drinks, because Hannah has to be amazing in all respects and make it that much more difficult for us to hate her. A funny scene ensues in which Brennan brags about her drinking prowess ("I have quite a high tolerance for alcohol") and her good looks ("I am quite beautiful") in practically one breath. Brennan also tells Hannah that Angela has advised her to move on. Hannah says, "I think she's right. You deserve to be happy, Temperance." This lady is simply too nice! What gives?
In other relationship news, Hodgins and Angela have a new home! Angela falls in love with Paisley's place after stopping by during the investigation to bring Hodgins some (half-eaten) dinner. While admiring the space, she asks Hodgins if their unborn baby might prefer growing up somewhere similar. Hodgins disagrees, dragging his feet at the idea of moving away from his stately family home. After all, his grandfather, Chester Putnam Hodgins, once lived there, and the man "never met a chandelier he didn't like."
Hodgins comes around by the end of the episode and presents Angela with a key to Paisley's place, which he landed for a good deal. Turns out socialites get creeped out by dead people! It's super-touching, and we're left wondering why Booth and Brennan can't share a similar scene. Darn you, Hannah, for being so understanding!