John Francis Daley (Sweets) — who co-wrote “The Truth in the Myth” — is seriously funny. Yet another thing we didn’t know about him! With 60 minutes of hilarious material as fodder, we had a tough time whittling down our list of favorite funny quotes to a mere 10. But we put our Iguana thinking cap on and accomplished the impossible. Just don’t read these while driving, lest you guffaw like Brennan (Emily Deschanel): Safety first!
10. Pregnancy hormones, aisle one
Angela (Michaela Conlin): So I stripped away the audio track with Coleman’s voice and I amplified the background noise.
Cam: You just turned up the volume. I could have done that.
Angela: I’m sorry, uh, do I just say you just look at gooey stuff all day — I could do that?
9. Oh, but we can
Squintern Vincent (Ryan Cartwright): I have to apologize for spreading the rumor that you and I were lovers. But it was nothing serious. It was on and off. We were just each other’s sexual playthings. And please remember that I am apologizing for things that I did when I was besotted with drink.
Brennan (Emily Deschanel): [Laughing]
Vincent: Why are you laughing?
Brennan: Cause the absurdity of you and me having a sexual relationship of any kind. I mean your friends must be very gullible.
Vincent: Not particularly.
Brennan: Then they must have been inebriated and incapable of rational thought.
Vincent: Stranger things have happened.
Brennan: I can’t think of any.
8. Somebody’s been watching Twilight
Vincent: Some of the remains indicate that our victim was killed by a cryptid.
Cam (Tamara Taylor): Cryptid?
Hodgins (TJ Thyne): A creature not yet recognized by scientific consensus. Of course.
Cam: Oh no, you guys aren’t going to start talking about werewolves, are you?
Brennan: Odd that they would call it the Pine Tree Manor when it’s obviously clad in cedar.
Booth (David Boreanaz): I was just thinking that.
6. We beg to differ
Sweets: You wanted revenge.
Pet psychic: I did not kill that dreadful man. I was at the farm. Ask the horse, or the chickens. They all saw me.
Pet psychic: I am not crazy, Dr. Sweets.
5. Cheers to that!
Booth (to the team, gathered at the Founding Fathers): Here’s to stupidity and greed, the two elements that keep us employed.
4. Oh, Bones
Booth: On the show Coleman would go out, he would debunk different myths and legends. You know the Loch Ness Monster, the Yeti, psychic healers, yadda yadda.
Brennan: I’m not familiar with the yadda, yadda, yadda myth, but the rest of them don’t need disproving because they don’t exist.
3. You can say that again
Sweets: Believers in superstitions like these turn to illogical explanations as a way of deriving control in a frightening and uncertain world.
TV Producer: They’re nuts.
Sweets: That’s a more succinct way of putting it.
2. How... tempting?
Cam: Mr. Nigel-Murray, do you need me to take that away from you?
Vincent (sniffing rubbing alcohol): Oh, no no, no don’t be absurd. This is 80 per cent ethyl alcohol. I would most likely go blind if I were to drink this. Yeah, yeah, take it away from me.
1. Catch my drift?
Angela: You really had to volunteer us for this, huh?
Hodgins: Yeah, I thought coming out to the woods would be nice, a little fresh air.
Angela: Honey, let me share something with you. There is a human growing inside me. Vegging on the couch and eating pints of mint chip ice cream is all I actually want to do.
Hodgins: Recent studies show that mothers who gain excess weight during pregnancy make their babies more prone to childhood obesity.
Angela: Hmm, that’s interesting. I read a study that says that husbands who suggest their pregnant wives are fat are far more prone to being slugged by them.
Hodgins: Right, okay then.
Catch up on all the mythbusting action with our recap of “The Truth in the Myth” — and whet your appetite for next week’s “The Finder” with the preview below:
Need your daily dose of Bones? “Like” us on Facebook!