Bones Season 7, Episode 7, “The Prisoner in the Pipe” was chock-full of quotes about mucus plugs, lactation and relaxed uterines. In other words, reading these out loud is the only birth control you'll ever need.
Check out the top 10 quips from this week’s episode and warning: These bad boys come with side effects including but not limited to feeling like a super genius.
10. Brennan (Emily Deschanel) real-talks: "At this stage in my pregnancy, my IQ may be 8 to 10 points lower than normal."
Does this mean she's a mere mortal like the rest of us?
9. Booth (David Boreanaz) compliments his favorite lactation specialist: "She’s so good I bet she could teach me how to lactate."
What a beautiful image.
8. Brennan admits her shortcomings: "Well, I want to be cool… But I can’t."
She just needs a few lessons from Angela's (Michaela Conlin) dad!
7. Brennan chats about the Bible: "Whoever wrote that really knew how to manipulate an audience."
High fives all around, three wise men!
6. Daisy (Carla Gallo) sprinkles rose water on the victim's bones: "So when Dr. Brennan’s working, she will be relaxing… Uterinely."
Nothing better than a relaxed uterus, right ladies?
5. Brennan gets jazzed up about the case: "The deceased could have become trapped in the sewer and then decomposed, which I have never seen but I'd certainly like to."
She's almost as excited as a Twilight fan-girl, except with less glitter and more blood.
4. Daisy wants to make babies: "Oh Lance, we need to make one of those."
Sweets (John Francis Daley): "Uh… We’ll talk."
Read: Never gonna happen.
3. Booth complains to an unsuspecting waitress: "In this country there is a line between coffee and foamy crap. And when that line gets blurred people... They just become animals."
We'd hate to see what would happen if Booth accidentally wandered into a Starbucks.
2. Brennan brags: "I don’t mean to be boastful, but my mucosal plug is superb!"
We'll let you google search "mucus plug" on your own... Just so as to keep this article safe for life.
1. Daisy sexes up Sweets: "Your nose is growing, Pinnochio."
Not gonna lie: We're horrified.
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