Monday night’s Season 8 premiere of Bones was a game-changer, probably because Brennan (Emily Deschanel) created a secret new language based on flowers (next time someone gives you a marigold, run away in fear). We’ve rounded up the top three OMG moments for you to look back on and yes: Baby Christine is talking, which means she very soon might just run for president. After she graduates Montessori school.

1. Pelant Is a Secret Egyptian (Sorta), Baby Christine Says "I Told You So"

So...turns out Pelant is even more of a criminal mastermind that we had originally suspected. Not only does the poor little dove have all kinds of issues due to the fact that he was overweight in high school (sob, we've all been there), he managed to change his identity to that of an Egyptian dignitary while in jail. Meet Bassam Alfayat, our new foreign friend! Now, we have no idea how things work over at The FBI, but apparently it's totally normal for a fleet of mustached Egyptians to come to your rescue if you get arrested. The more you know!

2. Brennan's Blond Wig Is Even More Hilarious Than We Thought

Remember when we thought that Brennan was sporting a hilarious wig? Well, that remains true but it turns out that in Bones' beautiful universe, Brennan dyed her hair. Which means we're supposed to think that thriving hive atop her head is real. Fail, costuming department. Fails all over the place. All we can say is that we've seen better weaves on Christina Aguilegend. Also Aguilegend's cryogenic baby clone, Baby Christine, is shaking her head in disapproval. Never forgive, never forget.

3. SHIRTLESS BOOTH! We repeat: SHIRTLESS BOOTH!

Like most endangered species, Booth (David Boreanaz)'s abs are mysterious creatures that are rarely seen in their natural habitat (read: The Jeffersonian). They only come out to play once every few years, and must be treated with R-E-S-P-E-C-T. And shhhh, try not to squeal in glee or your might frighten them away. This week, Booth chose to unleash his six-pack upon the world while sexing Brennan atop a washing machine (!!!!!) and as you might expect we have lost all ability to communicate in any language other than Dreamy Sighs.

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