The Season 8 premiere of Bones is almost here! The FOX drama makes its big return to TV on Monday, September 17th, at 8:00pm. In order to help get ready for the big event, we’ve compiled a handy little cheat sheet of everything that went down last season. Below you’ll find our recaps for all 13 episodes of Season 7. Refresh your memory... and catch up on any episodes you may have missed.
Bones Season 7, Episode 1: “The Memories in the Shallow Grave”
Bones Season 7, Episode 2: “The Hot Dog in the Competition”
Booth and Brennan investigate a murder inside the cutthroat world of... competitive eating? Hey, at least their investigation provided Dr. B the perfect environment to cope with those sudden pregnancy cravings. Back at the lab, Cam introduces a brand-new Squintern to the group: a sweet Southern youngster named Finn (Luke Kleintank). To read the full recap, click here!
Bones Season 7, Episode 3: “The Prince in the Plastic”
Soap star Morgan Fairchild guest stars as the Devil Wears Prada-like CEO of a toy company. Oh, and someone decides to let Sweets (John Francis Daley) undergo training so he can be certified to carry a firearm. Um, has anyone actually met Sweets? He’s not exactly the sort of guy you want toting around a weapon. Clumsiness + weapons = not a good combination. To read the full recap, click here!
Bones Season 7, Episode 4: “The Male in the Mail”
Cory Matthews from Boy Meets World guest starred in this one! Honestly, we don’t really remember what else happened. (Further recollection reveals that this is the episode in which Booth’s father passed away. No wonder we only remember Cory Matthews. We probably subconsciously chose to block all the rest out.) To read the full recap, click here!
Bones Season 7, Episode 5: "The Twist in the Twister"
Rock star Billy Gibbons returns as Angela’s father... and actually turns out to be, like, the best babysitter ever. Rock music is great for putting infants to sleep. Who knew? (Or maybe little Michael is just weird.) Meanwhile, Booth and Brennan investigate a bunch of thrill-seeking tornado chasers, and we learn that tornado chaser groupies are just plain weird. To read the full recap, click here!
Bones Season 7, Episode 6: "The Crack in the Code"
After weeks of anticipation built up by spoilers, we finally get to meet Season 7 — and Season 8’s — big baddie: the high-tech super genius, Pelant. The entire Jeffersonian team knows he’s to blame for the crime, but Pelant manages to outwit them and dodge all suspicion. Obviously, this is soon to become a recurring theme. To read the full recap, click here!
And then The Finder happened. For like three months.
We do NOT miss being in the middle of that Bones hiatus.
Bones Season 7, Episode 7: "The Prisoner In The Pipe"
Happy April, everyone. Bones is back! And to reward you for waiting so long, Brennan is going to have her baby. Like, right now. In the middle of a prison riot. On the side of the road near a hotel. And Booth is delivering her. By himself. Because he is a badass. To read the full recap, click here!
Bones Season 7, Episode 8: "The Bump In The Road"
Baby Christine is the most adorable child we have ever laid eyes on. She winks, she smiles, and our heart melt into about a billion pieces. But isn’t this also a crime show... with like gruesome murders and stuff? The team investigates when a corpse of an extreme couponer is found dragged along a road by a giant semi truck. Oh, and Cam freaks out when her daughter, Michelle, starts dating Squintern Finn. (But why? He’s hot. And he has the same name as that guy on Glee. We see absolutely no problem.) To read the full recap, click here!
Bones Season 7, Episode 9 "The Don't In The Do"
Booth and Sweets go shopping for lingerie as a gift for Dr. B. Yes, it is as awkward as it sounds. There’s a weird blue corpse, a strange world of hairdressers and prostitution is introduced, and we’ve decided that we never want to try on a wig, ever again. To read the full recap, click here!
Bones Season 7, Episode 10 "The Warrior In The Wuss"
Booth’s son, Parker, makes his big return home after his big trip to England. (In other news, Parker was in England! Who knew?) A tiny karate champion beat up an assailant. (She’s just like a mini Buffy the Vampire Slayer. David Boreanaz, watch your back.) And Hodgins figures out a way to use his expensive new lab equipment to whip up some killer tequila and guacamole. Good times all around. To read the full recap, click here!
Bones Season 7, Episode 11, "The Family in the Feud"
Baby Christine is having problems at daycare. A corpse’s eyes start glowing thanks to some neat little bugs living in its sockets. Booth and Brennan make out at a crime scene. Oh, and Ryan O’Neal is back as Brennan’s dad, Max. To read the full recap, click here!
Bones Season 7, Episode 12, "The Suit On The Set"
Bones goes Hollywood! Brennan’s hit novel — about a fictional forensic anthropologist named Kathy Reichs, naturally — is being adapted for the big screen, so naturally Dr. B heads West to Tinseltown to help supervise the process. Naturally, she and Booth stumble into a real-life crime scene while they’re there. Biggest surprise of the night: Cam used to star in a bunch of ridiculously cheesy movies. Now that is one twist we never saw coming. To read the full recap, click here!
Bones Season 7 Finale, Episode 13, "The Past in the Present"
Pelant is back. And though trapped under house arrest with no access to technology, he still manages to frame Dr. Brennan for murder, get Booth taken off the case, and almost certainly guarantee that Brennan will be thrown in jail. Booth and Brennan take Christine to a chapel for a touching Christening ceremony — after which Dr. B promptly grabs her daughter, ditches Booth, and rushes off for a life on the run. Not exactly a great step for the future of their relationship. But at least Dr. B gets to stay out of the slammer... for now. To read the full recap, click here!
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