Ah, there’s nothing like an upcoming Bones finale to get us feeling chipper!
...Oh, did we say “chipper”? Because we actually meant morbid. Hopefully you can’t blame us, considering that Bones is, as TJ Thyne put it, “a show surrounded by death.” And with the additions of Michael Hodgins and Baby Christine, we’re thinking the Bones cast might need some trimming. After all, every birth must be complemented with a death!
What follows is our take on whom Bones could bump off. And we’re not dancing around the edges with squinterns here — no, we’re walking the main characters around the graveyard.
Angela Montenegro (Michaela Conlin)
Now, there are two ways to think about all of these characters’ deaths: the emotional aspect and the practical aspect.
For Angela, leaving baby Michael motherless would bring keening throughout Bones fandom — and while said keening is not necessarily be a bad thing, we suspect that in Angela’s case, a mass exodus of viewers would follow. She’s a lot of fun, after all, and her comedic lines are better than they’ve ever been. And she’s pretty, too!
Practically speaking, there are some high hurdles to block an Angela death. Her job at the Jeffersonian isn’t really one of them, since the brains behind Bones could easily dream up another capable graphic designer to reconstruct faces. But Angela serves an important purpose as the more human side of the squints — after all, we can’t always have Booth around to provide a contrast against Brennan, Hodgins, etc. In short, that’s an essential role to fill, and there’s no point in Bones replacing Angela with someone exactly like Angela.
Also, keep in mind that Angela’s history as “Brennan’s best friend” would be impossible to replicate without another five or so years (and Angela was Brennan’s best friend before the show began, too). As much as we’d like to predict a Bones Season 12, we have to shy away from being so presumptuous for now.
Verdict? Angela must stay!
Jack Hodgins (TJ Thyne)
And leave poor little Michael fatherless? No way. Call us crazy, but we'd really love to see a happily married mother and father embark on the adventure of raising their first child. Is that too much to ask? Thus, as with Angela, killing off Hodgins would likely effect an outcry that Bones would not survive.
Aside from that, though, there’s not a lot irreplaceable about Hodgins. His wacky conspiracy-theory bent has been relegated to the burner behind the back burner (although that’s set to change on The Finder), and any squint could set up hilariously dangerous experiments with relative ease.
So thank goodness for that baby, huh? Indeed, Angela may well be the best thing that’s ever happened to Hodgins — she’s helping him survive!
Verdict? Hodgins must stay!
Lance Sweets (John Francis Daley)
Oh, no — not Sweets! You can’t be serious!
...That’s our initial reaction to the idea of killing off Bones’s number-one shrink, but we can’t let emotion alone keep him off the cutting block. After all, some of the best media out there are great because they kill their darlings; think John R.R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire series or basically anything by Joss Whedon, ever.
And the more we think about it, the more we’re forced to admit that Sweets could be taking up too much space. A psychologist is a pretty easy character to make attractive — indeed, Bones itself did just fine with Gordon Wyatt (Stephen Fry) before Sweets came along. And Booth’s intuition and people-reading skills often supersede whatever psychologist’s contributions Sweets has to offer, to the point where Sweets hardly appears at all in some episodes.
But if Sweets died? Instant glory, and what better way to raise the stakes with Pellant (Andrew Leeds)? So yes, it might break our hearts... but we can see Sweets kicking the bucket.
Verdict? Sweets is expendable.
Camille Saroyan (Tamara Taylor)
When it comes to this grisly game of Survivor, Cam has a big problem. It’s nicely summed up in a well-worn aphorism: easy come, easy go.
See, veteran Bones viewers will remember Daniel Goodman (Jonathan Adams), the original and unflappable head honcho at the Jeffersonian. As a fun-hating authoritarian, Goodman could not be beat, and that persona made him all the more endearing on the rare occasions when his heart showed through.
That said, Cam brings a lot more to the table than Goodman did. Her comedic lines have really shined this season — and all her dating mishaps, plus the adopted daughter storyline have softened and humanized her from earlier years. But Cam's character has been so devoid of development this season that we and others (including Taylor herself) have been left to speculate on what should happen to her. Indeed, we’ve seen neither hide nor hair of Cam’s new beau, and her daughter Michelle (Tiffany Hines) is just as invisible.
The bottom line? If Bones kills Cam, it’ll be sad for those invisible people — but they’re invisible, so we as an audience won’t have to deal with them. And as we said, considering how fast Goodman was shoved out of the Jeffersonian, it shouldn’t be at all difficult to find a new boss for Brennan and the gang.
Verdict? Cam is expendable.
What about Booth and Brennan?
Believe it or not, if we HAD to kill one of them off, we know who it would be! Take a look.
But until then, here's a quick recap: We've determined that Angela and Hodgins must stay, while Sweets and Cam can totally go.
Now, if we know our readers, you’ll have plenty to say about this one (and perhaps plenty of things to hurl at your computer screen). So get busy and tell us what you think!