What do hooker tattoos, coffee withdrawals, human slingshots, turnips in cabbage patches, and peanut-butter cups have in common? They were all part of the Season 7, Episode 14 of Grey's Anatomy, titled P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing). Oh, but sure, there's a cohesive theme in there somewhere, we're sure...
The trial verdict: Meredith tests the trial patient's memories, and the data she gathers convinces Derek that the treatment isn't failing. But in the midst of this, Richard approaches Mer with a new clinical trial: he wants to continue Ellis Grey's work to cure Type-1 diabetes with islet cell autotransplantation (which we have so kindly explained for you). He doesn't want it to happen without her involvement. But after reading her mom's meticulous journal, Mer decides that it represents the Ellis whom Richard knew, and so she gives him the go-ahead to go at it solo.
Coffee break-down: With the baby on the way, Arizona takes a special interest (read: obsessive watchfulness) about what Callie's diet and even recruits Mark to her cause. For starters, she bans Callie from coffee. Callie joneses for it all day, but Arizona guilts her into abstaining. But when Callie has a mid-surgery meltdown, Owen sends April for a cup of coffee stat. In an awesome coup d'état, Callie tells Arizona and Mark that she is entitled to one dose of java every day because while Mark and Arizona each get a "vote" in how Callie should treat her pregnancy, Callie gets three — one from her, one from the baby, and one from her vagina.
YouTube boobs: The case Callie and Owen are working on is a young guy who slingshotted himself into a brick wall in the hopes of YouTube fame. Owen gives both him and his videographer buddy a tongue lashing about people who sustain similar injuries for far nobler — and far less stupid — reasons.
Thatcher girlfriend, Dad?: Papa Grey returns to the hospital with abdominal pain, and Meredith and Lexie are both surprised that they weren't informed until they realize that Thatcher has a girlfriend in tow, Dani, who is Lexie's age. Lexie is rightfully grossed out, but Meredith is indifferent. By the end, Lexie realizes she's just lashing out because of her own personal frustrations and strikes a truce with Dani. Thatcher has a kidney stone excised and lives to be a terrible dad for at least a while longer.
A spy in the house of love: Jackson is assigned to Mark's service, but Mark makes him his spy instead of letting him scrub in. So Jackson chats Lexie up, and she vents to him. But when he gets back to the OR, Jackson honorably pretends like he failed in his mission and doesn't relay any of the Lexie scoop. Mark lets him scrub in anyway. Later, Jackson asks Lexie out to Joe's bar, but Lexie asks for a rain check. (Oh, and Jackson is shirtless as this happens. We wonder if Jesse Williams is starting to feel objectified... or maybe he just has a pectoral clause in his contract.)
Alex the turniphead: Alex has a prenatal baby in need of a heart transplant, but he pisses off new doc Lucy by referring to a brain-dead baby (and potential organ donor) as a "turnip" and assuming she's a nurse, so she bans him from the NICU — and from the operation. The baby is delivered via C-section; and Teddy, Arizona, and Cristina transplant the heart successfully. Lucy chews Alex out in the gallery about acting entitled when there are mothers in real pain. But even she is checking Alex out by the end of the episode. That said, she also shoots him down when he begins to ask her out. Like, before he can even get out the full question. You're all right, Lucy. You can stick around.
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