Credit: Ron Tom/ ABC Television Group © 2012 Disney Photo: Castle and Beckett Share a Moment in Castle Season 5, Episode 14 "Reality Star Struck"

It’s Valentine’s Day, which means we were expecting some cutesy quotes mixed into our detectives’ usual jargon. What we didn’t see coming, was Captain Gates showing that her strong suits not only include disliking Castle, but fangirling over something. But we can’t judge, because we’re busy glued to the Castle tube every Monday! In other news, who didn’t do a double take of Lanie in red, strutting down the hallway? No need for a quote on that one. Castle’s eyes said it all.

Check our top quotables from Castle Season 5, Episode 14 “Reality Star Struck:”

11. Castle: It all seems so random. I mean I know by the end of this, all of these clues will fit together beautifully in a murderous mosaic, but how?

This has all the makings for a new Murder by Numbers game set.

10. Castle: I’m kind of competitive when it comes to giving gifts. Don’t feel bad if yours isn’t as good as mine.
Beckett: What if it’s better?
Castle: Better? How could it possibly be better?
Beckett: Oh, I guess it just depends on what you got me.

Challenge accepted!

9. Beckett: I watched an episode.
Castle: Just one episode? That’s like eating one potato chip.
Beckett: I usually eat just one potato chip.

Please spill your self-control secrets. We can never watch just one.

8 Captain Gates: Is anything real on that reality show?
Ryan: Just the headache I get when I watch it.

Haha, which means you still watch it, Ryan.

7. Alexis: Oh, my god, dad. You're still watching?
Castle: I can’t feel my butt.

We knew reality TV caused numbness, but that’s a new one.

6. Ryan: I feel like a rooster in a henhouse, except there’s only one hen — a very bossy hen.

Beyonce’s penning the lyrics to “Who Runs the World? Hens!” as we speak.

5. Ryan: Sorry, I had to run home and, uh...
Castle: Cock-a-doodle-doo?

New lingo? Score (pun intended)!

4. Beckett: Please tell me that you didn’t get me a lightsaber for our first Valentine’s Day together.

That would be in violation of page two of the “Caskett Gift Giving” ground rules.

3. Castle: So it’s a reality show, just without the reality.

The very last episode of “The Hills” should clear this right up. Oh, wait...

2. Gates: Which is why I think each of you should watch some “Wives of Wall Street” episodes tonight — for the good of the case.

Translation: I need someone else to geek out with me, so decide amongst yourselves who wins (or loses).

1. Beckett (to Castle) : Take your clothes off, put them in the your drawer, and meet me in the bed.

Castle won’t mind those orders.