Last night's all-new Castle, Season 4, Episode 18: "A Dance With Death," was chock-full of goodies: dancing doppelgangers, secret lovers, and lots of theatrics — all of which provided perfect fodder for some awesome wisecracks.

Check out the top quotables from the episode below:

1. Castle: "Martha Rogers as Maggie the Cat is more of a helpless kitten, meowing and flapping her hands when she doesn't get her way."

Perhaps we should remind Rick of the time Beckett called his fiction "pulp"?

2. Lanie: "The girls came along when I was 13. Not too many top-heavy ballerinas out there."
Castle: "Well, I think there should be."

In the words of Kate Beckett, of course you do.

3. Castle: "Sounds to me like the old gas card scam. Your parents put you on a strict allowance, but they give you a gas card so you can fill your car. You fill your friends' cars and they give you cash."

This information could have been useful, like, 15 years ago.

4. Brad: "I'd be Brian Dunkleman!"
Beckett: "Who's Brian Dunkleman?"

Hint: Not Ryan Seacrest.

5. Oona: "Just remember, Martha: Those who can't do, teach."
Martha: "And those who can't teach become theater critics!"

And … scene.

6. Castle: "Separated twin stories never end happily … except The Parent Trap."

Yeah, try telling that to Lindsay Lohan.

7. Esposito to Ryan: "You have the stink of honeymoon phase all over you. No woman wants to be around that."

Unless you're Jenny, of course.

8. Castle: "Speaking from personal experience, I can tell you all that constant carousing does not come without consequences — like arrests, community service hours, and waking up in a strange hotel room with some girl's panties on your head."

Gosh, don't you hate it when that happens?

9. Ryan: "How can I tell my wife that I'm not wearing my wedding ring because I lent it to Esposito as an experiment to see if strippers would flirt with me?"

Good question!

10. Castle: "'Ample'? 'Murdered'? I am just so proud … "
Alexis: "Dad. Work. Boundaries."

Oh, how the tables have turned.


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