Castle Season 5 is a fine wine, only getting better with time. The show shook things up a bit this week, sending Castle and Beckett on the road to the Hamptons, while Esposito and Ryan stayed home to have a life find out who Beckett’s boyfriend is.

With all the hilarious and sarcastic scenes, there was an abundance of delicious dialogue to pick from. Here are our Top 10 quotables from Episode 4: “Murder, He Wrote.”

10. Martha: A man says, “So what are we gonna do for dinner?” He’s dead to me.

Take note, men. You want to take Martha Rodgers, out? There better be a table waiting.

9. Beckett: And did you ask her about being his mistress?
Chief Brady: No. She didn’t mention that.
Castle: Yeah, suspects tend to hold back on stuff like that.

If Beckett ever has to quit her job, we’re sure she could take this guy’s.

8. Chief Brady: Hey, you got a problem with the way I do my job?
Castle: Now, I would never use those words exactly.

1 point for Castle. 0 for Chief Brady.

7. Castle: Call 9-1-1
Beckett: You think?!

She may have forgotten her suit, but her sarcasm is never lost. 

6.  Chief Brady (to Castle): You and your … hooker friend are under arrest for interfering with my murder investigation.

Ahhh, there’s that point for Chief Brady. Your move, Castle.

5. Beckett: Only that we didn’t hear any gunshots, so that probably means that the killer used a silencer.
Chief Brady: Watch a lot of cop shows, do we?

Yes!

4. Lanie: OK, I get that you don’t have a life, Javi, but you’re married, Kevin. So, what’s your excuse?

Quit while you’re behind, boys. Lanie will always have you outnumbered.

3. Castle: He’s sleeping like a little baby.
Beckett: More like a baby chainsaw.

Castle, hope you don’t snore.

2. Castle: Well, I’m not going to deny that I’ve brought other women up here. But none of them were you.

Awww!

1.  Beckett: So we’re Brangelina now?
Castle: No, no we’re … Rickate. No we’re … Kate-ick.
Beckett: Mmm.
Castle: Caskett? Ooh, that’s good, because of the whole murder thing — casket.

We came up with it first! Just sayin'. 

OK, stop twisting our arm. Here are three bonus quotes. We couldn’t help ourselves! It was just that good.

Beckett: I’m not a prostitute.

True, but with all the leather and chains you allude to in your closet, dominatrix could be a fitting word, no?

Castle: Demming? Come on. Beckett could do so much better.

Castle might hold a slight grudge against the man Beckett turned down the Hamptons for last time.

Lanie: Is this how you interrogate people? ‘Cause you ain’t doing nothing but pissing me off.

When will you two just kiss and makeup already? 


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