Between Rick Castle's incessant flirtation with the cameras and Ryan and Esposito's nonstop attempts to one-up each other, "Swan Song" was chock-full of clever quips and witty one-liners. It was nearly impossible to narrow down the brilliant musings to a small handful, but we somehow managed — and the result is music to our ears!
Check out our Top 10 favorite quotes from Castle Season 5, Episode 7: "Swan Song," and be sure to share yours in the comments below!
1. Castle introduces himself: "Richard Castle, novelist. My latest, Frozen Heat, in stores now. Have you met Nikki Heat's inspiration, Detective Beckett?"
Yes, I do believe we've been acquainted.
2. Esposito: "We've got you now, you son of a bitch. I'm sorry, can I even say son of a b…?"
If you have to ask this question, you're clearly not watching enough TV.
3. Castle: "Pure speculation would be Swan purchasing thermo-nuclear technology to have a scientist make an amplifier that went all the way to 12. This, musicians buying drugs? That's just Monday morning's crossword."
Rick Castle, everyone.
4. Castle: "So John Campbell was in town with a few days to kill … see what I did there?"
No, can you please elaborate?
5. Esposito: "You won't have to worry about this creep hurting anyone ever again. That's a gift from me to you. You're welcome, America."
Our gift is our song, and this one's for you.
6. Castle: "You know, Detective Beckett is not an unfriendly person, she's just got walls. Layers. Layers upon layers of, well, walls. But once you scale those walls, the effort is worth it."
He speaks from experience.
7. Gates: "I hope you're not going on the timestamp on this video. That can be faked, you know."
Beckett: "That's not the only thing on this video being faked … "
Let's hope she doesn't speak from experience.
8. Castle: "He wasn't about to stay and they weren't about to let him play George Michael to their Andrew Ridgeley."
Esposito: "Andrew who?"
Castle: "Exactly. So they pick up a guitar, and Wham!"
Better than dying in a freak gasoline fight accident, right? See what we did there? Nevermind.
9. Beckett lets her hair down: "I think that you're upset for cutting the cord with his church, so you started tracking him. He gave you a donation so you would leave him alone. But that wasn't enough, was it? You wanted revenge. So you followed him to his trailer and you killed him in a FIT OF RAGE!"
Beckett's audition tape for The Real Police Women of New York?
10. Beckett: "What I do here, this is mine. And just because they want to invade my privacy, it doesn't mean I have to help them do it."
Castle: "OK, that may be, but these cameras are not going anywhere. They're going to see something. I just want them to see what I see."
All together now: Awww!