Credit: Karen Neal/ABC Television Group © 2012 Disney Photo: Lanie, Esposito, Beckett, and Castle in Season 4, Episode 13: “An Embarrassment of Bitches”

What do an adorable golden retriever puppy, a famous drug cartel, and a fame-hungry celebutante have in common? They are all somehow connected to the murder of a famous dog trainer. And they’re all key players on tonight’s Castle!

Tonight, we begin at the hoity-toitiest of all places: a dog show. Among the contestants is the highly-anticipated celebutante/small dog owner named Kay Cappuccio and her boyfriend, Reggie.

This episode’s victim is one of the dog show’s judges, Francisco. Lanie says he’s been strangled with a leash. Esposito tries to cut in, Lanie cuts him off. “Are you trying to do my job now?” she asks. Whoa, girl! We thought you two were cool after Ryan and Jenny’s wedding. Guess we spoke too soon!

Anyway, to add insult to injury, when questioned about Francisco’s death, the show’s organizer, Mr. Green, admits the poor guy didn’t exactly get along with humans as well as animals. And it gets worse: Francisco’s a-freaking-dorable golden retriever Royal was at the crime scene while his master was murdered, and has now been left completely homeless.  Sadness!

Although Mr. Green says dog owners are passionate people, he insists they’re not passionate enough to murder, Still, Francisco is taken out a half-hour after he gifts the “Best in Show” award. Coincidence? We think not.

One contestant David Hernand tells Castle and Beckett the rumor is Francisco was taking bribes. Unfortunately, it seems Mr. Hernand might just be angry and making up lies because he — er, his dog — felt snubbed for not winning the award. Another contestant has an even better lead: A video on her phone of a woman leaving Francisco’s dressing room before the show: Kay Cappuccio, reality star. Bingo!

Except nobody can figure out Kay’s motive. Surely it’s not the money, or the notoriety. Even more confusing than why Kay would murder someone — at least to Beckett — is why a woman with no “discernible talent” has an army of paparazzi, a host of reality shows, and about 80 different perfume lines. We know, right?

Moments later, a gaggle of paps start snapping pics of Castle before they realize he’s not Jason Bateman. “That’s gettin' old,” he says.

Credit: Karen Neal/ABC Television Group © 2012 Disney Photo: Kay Cappuccio Strikes a Pose in Season 4, Episode 13: “An Embarrassment of Bitches”

Then, Beckett and Castle break up a Kay Cappuccio photo shoot to ask her some questions. As Castle slurps down some kind of juice we’ve never heard of (but he seems to love), Kay says she hired Francisco to help train her dog, but he turned her down and brought the dog back days later.

But that still doesn’t explain why she was in his dressing room shortly before the murder. Kay says she wanted to find out why he wouldn’t work with her atrocious brat of a dog, but when she got to his room, he was already dead. And she left. “No harm, no foul, right?” Um, we’re not sure that’s how that works.

So, leave it to Ryan and Espso to do the real digging while Castle and Beckett are out. Turns out, Francisco might have actually been doing some dirty deals with dog owners. That’s when Lanie zips in with Francisco’s adorb waggy-tailed dog, Royal. Not knowing what to do with the homeless pooch, the team agree to keep him in the precinct.

"We do need a mascot,” Castle says, to which Espo responds, “I thought that’s what you were.” Oh, touche.

For more info, Caskett bring in a Dr./Mrs. Barker who they think is Francisco’s therapist, but turns out to be Royal’s therapist. (They learn this after she reveals that her patient is slightly paranoid, with low self esteem and likes to, um, eat his own feces.) Royal keeps digging at the ground, which Mrs. Barker claims means something, although she obviously doesn’t know what.

Meanwhile, Ryan finds an electronic bug sweeper to detect eavesdroppers in Francisco’s apartment. Apparently, his dog wasn’t the only one with paranoia!

Cut to Esposito and Beckett checking out a warehouse Francisco used to frequent. It looks pretty shady, but Espo thinks it’s some kind of kennel. And he’s right: Two very angry German Shepherds rush after the duo. Luckily, right before the canines are about to attack, a man sneaks up from around the corner. His name is Jack Patterson, and he worked for Francisco.

He tells them Francisco was breeding a new type of designer dog and was almost ready to unveil his life’s work right before he passed. And that’s why people were throwing cash at Francisco at shows: They wanted in on the first litter! Patterson said Francisco thought Cappuccio was after him to steal his secrets.

Obvi, that means the team has to bring her back in for questioning. When the voluptuous reality princess sashays into the precinct for questioning (again), the team make a startling discovery: There’s surveillance in her dog’s collar, which means Francisco probably wasn’t the intended target of the surveillance — Kay was! Shocking, right? What’s not so shocking, however, is the fact that Esposito — playa-playa that he is — can’t keep his eyes off the busty celebutante and offers to go over some footage from the canine cam while the rest of the crew figures things out. Naturally.

Credit: Karen Neal/ABC Television Group © 2012 Disney Photo: Beckett and Castle Hold Hands in Season 4, Episode 13: “An Embarrassment of Bitches”

Then, it’s time for that highly-anticipated Caskett moment we’ve been watching on repeat for days. Beckett and Castle decide to share custody of Royal-the-Homeless-Dog, and when Castle drops the pup off to his darling detective, he ends up massaging her hand in a very sensual way to show her how the dog likes to be touched. Um, can you say hot?

After they share a brief, but powerful, moment of silence, Beckett says, “Castle” and pulls away. But man! Nobody can deny that was one intense moment of Caskett chemistry. (And we also love how Beckett then allows the dog onto her couch. Looks like somebody’s softening up!)

Meanwhile, Esposito and Kay are having a grand ol’ time at the precinct (and Espo’s getting his flirt on like whoa.) Honestly, we feel a real love connection brewing here. Er, well, as real of a connection as a reality star can have. But as it turns out, Kay’s actually a lot smarter than she looks, and tells Espso she’s not impressed by her vapid lifestyle. Esposito tries to comfort her, but it seems the celebutante is actually one pretty sad, lonely girl. Dare we say we kind of feel bad for her?

Then, Esposito discovers the man behind the canine cam is Marcus Hiatt, a regular stalkarazzi who will do just about anything to get his money shot — and also happened to have credentials to the dog show. Luckily, the team finds him and brings him in, but Marcus claims he accidentally came across the feed of Kay and didn’t cam her on purpose. Right.

Marcus does have some 411 on Francisco, though, and says he overheard him talking about bringing drugs into the country over the feed. Turns out, this guy wasn’t breeding designer dogs, he was training dogs to sniff out designer drugs. And the guy Caskett ran into at the warehouse, “Mr. Patterson”? Totally a U.S. customs agent who employed Francisco.

The dogs Francisco was training learned to paw at the ground whenever they smelled drugs. And, as you’ll recall, that’s exactly what Royal was doing at the crime scene. Guess Mrs. Barker wasn’t so crazy after all. Whoever killed Francisco was involved in some sort of drug smuggling and didn’t want him to continue training the dogs.

So, Castle deduces that whoever killed Francisco had to have three things: 1) access to Kay’s dog, 2) knowledge that Francisco was training the dogs to sniff drugs, and 3) a connection to the Vasquez drug cartel. Six months prior, Kay stayed at the Vasquez compound in Argentina, which makes it seem very plausible that Kay’s the killer.

Esposito doesn’t wanna believe his new crush could be a cold-blooded murderer, but all signs point to Kay’s guilt — particularly the fact that her new perfume contains poppy, something a trained dog could easily mistake for heroin. And to think he comforted her while she was crying! (And that the name of her new perfume is Guilty Pleasure!)

Credit: Karen Neal/ABC Television Group © 2012 Disney Photo: Reggie Starr in Season 4, Episode 13: “An Embarrassment of Bitches”

But, like we’re used to on this show, it turns out Kay isn’t the killer — it’s actually her boyfriend, who himself had connections to the Vasquez cartel. And could they be any more lucky that Kay’s beau is hanging out in the precinct as they figure this out? Case closed!

But there’s still one last mystery to solve: Where Royal the homeless pooch should stay for good. Beckett and Castle decide to stand on opposite sides of the room and let the doggie choose. But alas, he doesn’t go to either of them. Instead, he saunters off toward Miss Kay Cappuccio.

But Kay walks away with more than just a new dog — we’re pretty sure she walks away with Esposito’s heart, as well.


Are you a Castle expert? Weigh in with your theories and thoughts on our Castle Facebook page!
Follow @CastleWetpaint on Twitter



More About Castle
Castle Spoilers
Castle Season 5
Castle Episode Guide