Credit: Colleen Hayes /ABC Television Group © 2012 Disney

You often wish Castle boss, Andrew Marlowe, would auction off a Writer For a Day prize at some event, so you could rewrite some of these scenes, right? We thought so. Sadly, we just have to settle for the rewrites in our heads because sometimes things just aren’t right.

Here are our biggest WTF moments from Castle Season 5, Episode 13: “Recoil.”

Credit: Colleen Hayes /ABC Television Group © 2012 Disney

5. Was Captain Gates Ever a Detective? We’re Not Quite Sure.

Things happen in that interrogation room. Magical things. Sometimes creepy things. And they usually involve Kate Beckett. Yeah, “I remember everything” quotes. We’re talkin’ to you.

But this go around, we can’t help but question exactly how Captain Gates became, well, captain. Instincts matter. And hers are pointing due SW towards Tennessee.

Beckett full-on announced that Senator Bracken got his kill on with her mom, and the head honcho was watching. She didn’t walk up after the statement. In fact, Castle looked all panicky because he knew Becks was going to spill the beans. And she chose now to half-heartedly believe Castle? Say something. Anything that remotely starts your wheels turning that Senator McCrime Boss over there isn’t all about kissing babies and eco-friendly solutions. Anything!

Oh, look. The mayor’s calling. Go drool over the phone and come back when your reaction is a little more detective-like. Or pry the white hat from Olivia Pope and strut it like you mean it.

 

Credit: Colleen Hayes /ABC Television Group © 2012 Disney

4. Beckett Interrogates Bracken!

OK, we’re not really sure how this fits snuggly into the WTF moments category, but it was so funny (and serious), that it’s worth rehashing. Bear with us while we find a way to connect the dots.

We kinda had to laugh at K-Becks a little for her classic eye rolls and commentary towards Bracken in their private little sanctuary where Beckett secretly was coming up with 34903 different wants to torture him. “Do you have any enemies? Is there anyone you can think of that would like to kill you?” If only TV sets let you add pop-up bubbles during a show and share them with the world (Apple geniuses, take note unless it’s already in the works.) This would take place of all the drinking games you currently play when Beckett drinks coffee or Castle wears his Writer’s vest. Drink! You spotted the vest, didn’t you?

Right. Back to WTF. Sorry, we couldn’t come up with one. Oops.

3. What Kind of Car Bomb Attempt Was That?

How much of an idiot do you have to be to botch this job? Bracken was close to the car — close enough to get hurt at least, but we’ll get into that in a sec. He was headed inside the limo. All the driver/killer had to do was wait a second or two, and then go boom. We thought it was pretty simple.

Maybe he should have phoned a friend. Let us suggest the Justin Timberlake/Adam Samberg duo, so they could have given him so helpful clues. Yeah, you gotta sing it, too!

1. Put a bomb in the car. 2. Make him get in that car. 3. Now, blow up the car. And that’s the way you do it. Bomb in a car.

Credit: Colleen Hayes /ABC Television Group © 2012 Disney

2. Beckett Saves Bracken From the Explosion and No One Has a Scratch.

It’s not too far off to think Beckett could have Kryptonian blood seeping through her veins, well minus that whole “she did actually get shot” detail. But B and B should have had a mark on them or something. We’re guessing even the shards of glass and metal are afraid to get on either of their bad sides.

1. Bracken Is Still Alive!

Fans can’t catch a break. That’s the biggest WTF of them all.