Credit: Jason Merritt/Staff Photo: Nathan Fillion Walks the Red Carpet at the Super Premiere

We watch YouTube videos of Nathan Fillion over here at Wetpaint Enterainment like it's our job. Oh, wait … it is our job!

Lucky for us, Nathan's loyal fangirls and boys keep the Internet well-stocked with goodies. And lucky for you, we've rounded up his wittiest one-liners for your reading pleasure.

5. "I dropped school like a hot rock."

(Late Show With David Letterman, February 17, 2011)

Believe it or not, Nathan almost became a high school teacher. Not gonna lie — we can totally picture him grading English papers in an argyle sweater vest and a pair of sexy tortoise shell specs, but we're happy he opted for a much different daytime job.

Nathan appeared as one of many Joey Buchanans on ABC's One Life to Live from 1994 - 1997. When news of the soap's cancellation hit the Internet earlier this year, Nathan tweeted, "A moment of silence for a disappearing genre. OLTL & AMC, we'll miss your hard work and talent."

4. "You'd be amazed what you can get away with dressed as Tarzan."

(The View, May 2, 2010)

The best thing about Nathan interviews are his ridiculous stories. When he sat down with the ladies from The View last year, he revealed that he delivered singing telegrams to help work his way through college. (Uh, how adorable is that?!)

On one occasion, he busted into a bank, jumped on the counter, and did the Tarzan yell. "Nobody drew a gun, nobody fell to the floor," he said in astonishment. Oh, Nathan, did you ever think that's because you were wearing a loincloth?

3. "If you want to cry, just surreptitiously pull a nose hair."

(TV Guide)

Forget the Martha Rodgers School of Acting! Clearly, Master Nathan deserves his own academy, where he can pass on his knowledge and wisdom to hordes aspiring of young Jedis. Who would have thought that a damaged hair follicle is all it takes?

We always assumed that crying on command required actors to really dig deep, but apparently all it takes is a little digging for gold. Thanks, Nathan!

2. "I'm not married, but I live with someone … I have a cat."

(The Ellen DeGeneres Show, October 4, 2007)

Women all over the world let out a sigh of relief when Nathan revealed that his roommate walks on all fours and eats Fancy Feast. And we continued swooning as he told the story of how this unlikely cohabitation came to be. Turns out, the cat came with the house in a sort of two-for-one deal.

Long story short, his furry friend, who he affectionately named Dirty Cat, ended up causing all kinds of trouble, resulting in the purchase of cat doors, kitty condos, and even a set of cat stairs. And Nathan claims he's not a cat person!

1. "It's not the first time I've played a gynecologist…"

(The Ellen DeGeneres Show, October 4, 2007)

Don't get too excited — Nathan's more into playing Halo than playing doctor. He's referring to his role as Dr. Adam Mayfair, Wisteria Lane's resident OBGYN, on ABC's (rest in peace) Desperate Housewives. Earlier that same year, Nathan starred alongside Keri Russell in the movie Waitress, and as fate would have it, he played her lady doc.

Sounds like the health care profession could be Nathan's true calling. Could you imagine? Women would never complain about their annual pap again!