Credit: ABC Photo: Nikki and Castle Meetcute in Episode 1.11 "Nikki Heat"

What better way to mark the New Castle Year than with a new list of wisecracks? With Method actress Natalie Rhodes (Laura Prepon) around preparing for her role as Nikki Heat, there was plenty of wit to counteract all the crime solving, which to be honest, can kinda get ya down.  It’s good to have our show back.

10. Martha (to Castle): Your books are not exactly Shakespeare.

Oh, Mom!

9. Castle: People love twisty this’s and melodramatic that’s.

The 7,639 seasons of cop shows, cop-lawyer shows, and cop-lawyer-forensic analyst shows don’t lie.

8. Beckett (to Castle, on Natalie): She took my coffee, Castle!... What’s next, my soul?!

See Wisecrack #9.

7. Alexis (to Castle, as his phone’s ringing): Pick it up, Dad. A murder will make you feel better.

When she’s right, she’s right.

6. Ryan (to Castle and Beckett): We should have a code word so we all know which Beckett to kill when a clone army attacks.

Castle’s would probably be “Awesome.”

5. Beckett: Let’s see if they’ll accept an invitation to my Interrogation Party.

Last minute addition to Beckett’s list of resolutions: Expand definition of “party.”

4. Bill Wellington (on matchmaker Stacy Collins): It’s not like she put a gun to my head and said, “Marry the beast.”

Although not an uncommon practice.

3. Beckett (on Natalie’s Method acting approach): Even when I’m thinking, I can feel her in my head, like some brain-eating parasite from one of her movies.

There was a brain-eating parasite in Single White Female?

2. Natalie (to Beckett, on Castle): He’s into you, but you’re determined not to give into these feelings that you clearly have for him, so he fantasizes about you through his writing. It’s literally verbal masturbation.

A wisecrack? Or just the most astute thing ever said? Debates will continue long after we’re all gone.

1. Beckett: You can’t judge a book by its cover.
Castle: Yes, actually. Yes, I can. When it’s my book.

Mmm. Touché.