Oh, Castle writers. You never cease to amaze us with the way you can turn absolutely ridiculous situations that could never possibly happen in real life into a deliciously entertaining and somehow still slightly believable hour of TV.
Did we mention it’s also always full of good quotes and sayings — sometimes so good we wish we could find them on those cute-yet-obnoxious graphic tees at cheap retail stores?
Check out our top 11 quotes from last night’s episode, “Head Case”:
11. Castle: Where’s the body?
Lanie: That’s an excellent question.
Right on par with “Whodunnit?” and “Where’s the beef?”
10. Victoria “Iron” Gates: Mr. Castle, I don’t know what the mayor sees in you, but I know you’re alike. He’s term limited.
9. Castle: Does anybody else have a sudden urge to run through the streets screaming “They’re here!”?
Maybe if it was 1982 and NYC was actually a movie called Poltergeist.
8. Dr. Weiss: He conducted cutting-edge research developing life-extension techniques.
Castle: Not that it did him any good.
7. Castle: You got any celebrities in here? Ted Williams? Jack Frost?
6. Castle: Yeah, you’re gonna need to go those implants. Otherwise you’ll get older and in 10 years I’ll be exactly the same.
Beckett: Isn’t that how you’ll be anyway?
All signs point to yes.
5. Castle: Somebody needs to get these girls clothes with actual fabric.
Oh, how parenthood changes a man’s priorities.
4. Lanie: Now, all of the theorizing is cute, as usual, but we’ve got a problem.
Call ‘em like you see ‘em, Lane.
3. Beckett: Are you saying you lost his head?
Better than his lunch.
2. Boyd: I didn’t kill him.
Beckett: Then why did you take his head? Did you miss him?
Loneliness makes people do strange things.
1. Castle: Everybody gets rejected. It’s how you handle it that determines where you end up.
Who knew Castle’s side job was writing for Hallmark?