Credit: Adam Taylor/ABC Television Group © 2011 Disney Photo: Lanie in Season 4, Episode 3: “Head Case”

Oh, Castle writers. You never cease to amaze us with the way you can turn absolutely ridiculous situations that could never possibly happen in real life into a deliciously entertaining and somehow still slightly believable hour of TV.

Did we mention it’s also always full of good quotes and sayings — sometimes so good we wish we could find them on those cute-yet-obnoxious graphic tees at cheap retail stores?

Check out our top 11 quotes from last night’s episode, “Head Case”:

11. Castle: Where’s the body?
Lanie: That’s an excellent question.

Right on par with “Whodunnit?” and “Where’s the beef?”

10. Victoria “Iron” Gates: Mr. Castle, I don’t know what the mayor sees in you, but I know you’re alike. He’s term limited.

Zing!

9. Castle: Does anybody else have a sudden urge to run through the streets screaming “They’re here!”?

Maybe if it was 1982 and NYC was actually a movie called Poltergeist.

8. Dr. Weiss: He conducted cutting-edge research developing life-extension techniques.
Castle: Not that it did him any good.

Too soon?

7. Castle: You got any celebrities in here? Ted Williams? Jack Frost?

...Charlie Sheen?

Credit: Adam Taylor/ABC Television Group © 2011 Disney Photo: Castle and Beckett in Season 4, Episode 3: “Head Case”

6. Castle: Yeah, you’re gonna need to go those implants. Otherwise you’ll get older and in 10 years I’ll be exactly the same.
Beckett: Isn’t that how you’ll be anyway?

All signs point to yes.

5. Castle: Somebody needs to get these girls clothes with actual fabric.

Oh, how parenthood changes a man’s priorities.

4. Lanie: Now, all of the theorizing is cute, as usual, but we’ve got a problem.

Call ‘em like you see ‘em, Lane.

3. Beckett: Are you saying you lost his head?

Better than his lunch.

2. Boyd: I didn’t kill him.
Beckett: Then why did you take his head? Did you miss him?

Loneliness makes people do strange things.

1. Castle: Everybody gets rejected. It’s how you handle it that determines where you end up.

Who knew Castle’s side job was writing for Hallmark?