11 Celebrities’ New Year’s Resolutions
Celebrity New Year’s resolutions, Beyonce, Justin Bieber, Ariana Grande
Credit: Ilya S. Savenok/Getty Images; Jason Merritt/Getty Images; Kevin Winter/Getty Images    

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11 Celebrities’ New Year’s Resolutions

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Have you already chosen a New Year’s resolution? These celebrities have… in our imaginations, at least.

Here are the resolutions 11 famous folks should be making for 2016.

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Justin Bieber

In 2016, I will wear a swimsuit, a pair of underwear, or at least a thong when I am using a hot tub.

Ariana Grande

In 2016, I will not disparage Americans who are not size-zero like me, and if I do, I will not pretend it was some great social commentary about the food industry.

Farrah Abraham

In 2016, I will not use hashtags related to major tragedies to promote my own business.

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Brian Williams

In 2016, I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

Beyoncé

In 2016, I will treat my assistants like family… or at least say “please” and “thank you” when they try to help.

Azealia Banks

In 2016, I will avoid analogies when generalizing about groups of people.

Matt Damon

In 2016, I will not interrupt black, female colleagues to explain diversity.

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Mark Wahlberg

In 2016, I will not mention films of mine with a Rotten rating of 46% in front of religious leaders.

Paula Deen

In 2016, I will make sure neither I nor my social media peeps share photos of my family in blackface.

Bristol Palin

In 2016, if I get pregnant, I will decide whether it was “planned” or a “great disappointment” ahead of time.

Chrissy Teigen

In 2016, I will share more photos of my husband’s naked backside.

Happy New Year’s, everyone!