11 Celebrities’ New Year’s Resolutions
Have you already chosen a New Year’s resolution? These celebrities have… in our imaginations, at least.
Here are the resolutions 11 famous folks should be making for 2016.
In 2016, I will wear a swimsuit, a pair of underwear, or at least a thong when I am using a hot tub.
In 2016, I will not disparage Americans who are not size-zero like me, and if I do, I will not pretend it was some great social commentary about the food industry.
In 2016, I will not use hashtags related to major tragedies to promote my own business.
In 2016, I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
In 2016, I will treat my assistants like family… or at least say “please” and “thank you” when they try to help.
In 2016, I will avoid analogies when generalizing about groups of people.
In 2016, I will not interrupt black, female colleagues to explain diversity.
In 2016, I will not mention films of mine with a Rotten rating of 46% in front of religious leaders.
In 2016, I will make sure neither I nor my social media peeps share photos of my family in blackface.
In 2016, if I get pregnant, I will decide whether it was “planned” or a “great disappointment” ahead of time.
In 2016, I will share more photos of my husband’s naked backside.
Happy New Year’s, everyone!