Soon-to-be-fathers, listen up! Mila Kunis has a few words she’d like to say to you.
During her appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live Tuesday, Mila took the opportunity to make a (very sassy) public service announcement about something that’s really been getting on her nerves since she became pregnant earlier in 2014: Expectant fathers who say “we’re pregnant.”
Because, as Mila says, those fathers are not pregnant — that’s something only females are capable of.
“Do you have to squeeze a watermelon-sized person out of your lady hole?” Mila said. “Are you crying alone in your car listening to a stupid Bette Midler song? No. When you wake up and throw up, is it because you’re nurturing a human life? No. It’s because you had too many shots of tequila.”
“Do you know how many shots of tequila we had? None. Because we can’t have shots of tequila,” Mila continued. “We can’t have anything because we’ve got your little love goblin growing inside of us. All you did was roll over and fall asleep. You’re not pregnant. We are.”
Homegirl’s got a point — there’s nothing comparable to giving birth, and lucky, lucky dads don’t have to deal with the physical aspect that comes with parenthood. They just get to coach Mom through labor, and then cuddle the adorable baby that appears as if by magic later on. We can’t blame Mila for being frustrated!
Hopefully Mila’s baby daddy Ashton Kutcher was watching. You heard the lady, Ashton. Don’t act like you’re pregnant, too.
Fortunately, though, it sounds like Ashton’s been on his best behavior through Mila’s pregnancy so far, and keeps everything she could possibly be craving on hand at home for when the mood strikes. Keep up the good work, Dad!