Credit: Harper's Bazaar Photo: Lady Gaga Covers Harper's Bazaar March 2014

When Lady Gaga says she had a rough 2013, we believe her. Toward the end of the year, a major disagreement with her former manager, Troy Carter, led to nothing but drama, and eventually, the two split ways after maintaining a longtime business relationship. And after apologizing to her fans for working with people who didn’t have her best interests at heart, Gaga’s ready for a fresh start.

“I became very depressed at the end of 2013,” Lady Gaga admitted to Harper’s Bazaar. “I was exhausted fighting people off. I couldn’t even feel my own heartbeat. I was angry, cynical, and had this deep sadness like an anchor dragging everywhere I go. I just didn’t feel like fighting anymore. I didn’t feel like standing up for myself one time — to one more person who lied to me.”

Totally understandable — it’s tough when nobody’s by your side to put your trust into. But then, the 27-year-old “Applause” singer found it within herself to keep going, even though it was difficult at times.

“I said to myself, ‘Whatever is left in there, even just one light molecule, you will find it and make it multiply,’” Lady Gaga said. “Depression doesn’t take away your talents — it just makes them harder to find. But I always find it. I learned that my sadness never destroyed what was great about me. You just have to go back to that greatness, find that one little light that’s left. I’m lucky I found one little glimmer stored away.”

And Gaga can’t forget the silver lining: All the awesome music Lady Gaga will be able to make thanks to the inspiration of her recent dark period! It doesn’t work this way for everyone, but the good part about being a musician is that sometimes, your bad days can equal dollar signs and some seriously awesome tunes.

Need more? Lady Gaga’s cover of Harper’s Bazaar is on sale February 18.

Source: Harper’s Bazaar