Ellen Page’s coming out might have been met with love and support from friends and fans, but when it was Ellen DeGeneres’s turn to announce to the world that she was a lesbian 17 years ago, it wasn’t so easy. When Ellen talked with People recently, she revealed what it was like for her back then — and how different her life is now.

“I thought everyone knew me and I didn’t think that one little adjective was going to define me,” Ellen said. “I didn’t have perspective for awhile.”

But Ellen didn’t listen to any of the negativity, and it’s a good thing she didn’t, or she might not be the hugely successful comedian and talk show host (and animated fish… and upcoming Oscars host) that we know her as today. “Now I look at it as a movie that I saw that someone went through, and I only experience the amazing life I have now,” Ellen said.

The best part of her amazing life? Wife Portia DeRossi, who Ellen says she loves “so much it kills me.”

“The truth is, and this is corny, I fall more in love with Portia all the time. I really do,” Ellen said. “She surprises me all the time. It’s what anyone experiences when you find that person that gets you, wants to take care of you, wants the best for you. We’re really lucky because we know how rare it is.”

All together, now: “Aww.”

Source: People