The giant cape is a huge mistake on its own. Not only is Len going to hate it on principle, it distracts from the dance. And we thought Bristol was the one who vowed to dress conservatively? Margaret has some hot curves going on, but she hides them all in this long, black, aging, flower-accented dress. And Louis does us no favors with his goth-hippie look. Love the idea of adding Asian influence to the wardrobe, but this look has nothing to do with a Viennese Waltz, never mind a comedic Viennese Waltz. A miss from start to finish.
2. The Hoff & Kym
Sex bomb is right, emphasis on bomb. The Hoff doesn't need any help looking like a lounge lizard, but this ensemble — complete with goofy faces and creepy hip-swiveling — makes us want to shower off the sleaze. His shiny black jacket (looks like faux leather sparkling with sequins) and shades and her teeny Halloween witch fringe make them seem more like a pimp and his #1 girl than serious contestants on a dance show. Just trashy.
3. The Situation & Karina
We're onto you, Karina. This used to be Edyta's old trick: Wear bright, distractingly skimpy outfits to steer attention away from your partner so no one notices he can't dance. Unfortunately it doesn't work. Karina looks like a tropical bird longing to fly away and The Situation looks like he's wearing a cheesy bowling shirt with that random melon-colored stripe. Maybe they're aiming for Miami flair, but between the costumes, the limp choreography and the embarrassing '80s moves, they just seem like cartoon characters.
Costumes can really make or break a dance. Let's take a look at which couples went right and which ones went so very wrong on theDancing with the Stars Season 11 premiere.
1. Kyle & Lacey
What better way to tell everyone "we're the cute, young, fun couple" than with this edgy, punk prep school look? It's perfect for their high-energy Cha-Cha-Cha to "My First Kiss." Kyle looks like he's on a break from Hogwarts and Lacey is the bad girl sex kitten in her black lace corset with their names etched on the sides, plus that black sparkly bow in her hair and the crazy fringe under her skirt. You can't recycle this look (as the show sometimes does) — it only works for these two with this dance. It's definitely not generic. And you can never go wrong with plaid. Never.
2. Kurt & Anna
There needs to be an Anna doll. Seriously. She looks pretty in everything with her tiny dancer frame. Isn't it time for a little red-haired Russian Barbie? No? Anyway, she's at it again with this long, flowing elegant violet flower-printed dress. Kurt looks suave in his simple black suit with a sleek black tie. All the emphasis is put on her dress, which moves like waves in their Viennese Waltz.
3. Bristol & Mark
Well, this is the sexiest "modest" costume we've ever seen. Is this why Sarah Palin wasn't in the house last night? Bristol looks red hot in her sleeveless flapper-tasseled mini and jeweled collar. With high heels, hair down and a big smile she — gasp! — looks like she might be able to eventually let loose and have fun. We were thinking she'd be the Season 11 Kate Gosselin, but not at this rate. Oh and Mark remains as adorable as ever in his crisp white shirt and suit.
Brandy is the golden girl of the season, but this dress is overdone. The bodice is out of control with the ruffles and sparkles and the corset-like stitching around the middle. Then the gloves and the jewels and the long, shiny but dowdy-looking skirt? It's amazing she can stand upright with all of that weight. Brandy's natural beauty is being smothered. Half of this should've been left in the wardrobe department, to be saved for a future outfit. On the other hand, Maks looks even more dapper than usual in his tan suit vest with a gold tie. If they had just toned her look down a bit they could've been the premiere's gold stars.
2. Brooke Burke
Oh, Brooke. As Len said about The Hoff, it's never too early to panic. Brooke is always gorgeous and she shines in this violet-blue gown with a jeweled neckline. And we always love her hair down and flowing like this, with understated makeup. But the girls are already out in full force. The mother of four should be proud of her body, but the open "look here, everyone!" bust with the generous side boob exposure just accentuates her place on the show as eye candy, not a serious co-host ready to prove her worth in her second season.