Poor Farrah Abraham. The former Teen Mom star is seriously regretting her decision to shoot a porn (er, sorry, sex tape) with adult actor James Deen, and she's finally showing the world just how deep the damage runs. This week on Couples Therapy, the 22-year-old tells Dr. Jenn Berman that she's been suffering from "sexual depression" ever since that fateful day in April — but the truth is, Farrah's pain began years before her foray into adult films…
During an emotional group therapy session, Farrah reveals that her sex life began when her dad caught her in bed with then-boyfriend and baby daddy, Derek Underwood, who passed away shortly before Sophia was born. And that experience still haunts Farrah today.
"That's how everybody found out that Farrah had sex in my whole family," the starlet reveals. "I don't really like to tell them things because I feel like they're very judgmental."
Things only got worse for Farrah after her highly-publicized sex romp with James Deen, which ended up crashing Vivid Entertainment's website when it amassed over 2 million visitors in just 12 hours. Sure, Farrah was compensated generously with a hefty paycheck upwards of seven figures, but she lost her dignity and trust in men in the process.
"When I'm going to date somebody, and I'm thinking about, 'Oh, if I have sex with this person,' I'm just wondering why they're wanting to have sex," she explains. "I just always feel like they're trying to control me in some way, like they're trying to f—ing break me in some way."
Farrah goes on to explain that she's shut down sexually as a result, and can't even fathom being touched.
"Maybe I'm in, like, sexual depression over here," Farrah concludes.
But the good news? Homegirl is working harder than ever to change her state of mind and get back on the right track. Spread the news, everyone: Farrah is ready to love herself again!
"I'm changing my mindset right now. Obviously things need to f—ing repair and then I move forward," she tells Dr. Jenn.
Are you surprised by Farrah's candid confession? Tell us your thoughts below and tune in Thursday, January 30 at 10 p.m. ET on VH1.