Credit: Yu Tsai/CBS ©2010 CBS Broadcasting Inc. Photo: Kirsten Vangsness
Penelope Garcia is the flamboyant and quirky Computer Technician from the Criminal Minds Behavioral Analysis Unit. In celebration of her move to the Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior team, we’ve pulled together Penelope’s best quotes from Criminal Minds.


Criminal Minds Season 3, Episode 9: “Penelope”
Penelope:
When I was in the ambulance I could hear the song "Heroes" playing in my head. I kept flashing in and out of consciousness, everything was really bright and I remember thinking, "Wait, is David Bowie really God?”

Criminal Minds Season 4, Episode 7: “Memoriam”
Penelope:
Ladies and gentleman, I'm not a doctor. I don't even play one on TV, but I believe young JJ is going into labor.

Criminal Minds Season 3, Episode 5: “Seven Seconds”
Penelope:
Believe me when I tell you the 1980s just called. They want their security system back.

Criminal Minds Season 4, Episode 22: “The Big Wheel”
Penelope (about a serial killer):
He sure likes his blondes. Not a good date, though - too stabby.

Criminal Minds Season 3, Episode 14: “Damaged”
Penelope (mortified that Kevin will talk with Rossi about their relationship):
If you get within a hundred feet of Agent Rossi, I will unleash an unrecoverable virus onto your personal computer system that will reduce your electronic world into something between a Commodore 64, and a block of government cheese.

Criminal Minds Season 6, Episode 4: “Compromising Positions”
Penelope (voiceover): Abraham Lincoln said, "Whatever you are, be a good one."

Criminal Minds Season 1, Episode 2: “Compulsion”
Penelope: Okay, you know how on Star Trek when Captain Kirk asked McCoy to do something totally impossible and McCoy says, "Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker!"?
Derek Morgan: Hey, what are you telling me? Not to expect a miracle?
Penelope: No, I'm saying I'm not a doctor.
Derek Morgan: That's my girl.

Criminal Minds Season 1, Episode 12: “Fresh Hell”
Penelope (answering phone):
Penelope's house of "how may I save your ass today?"

Criminal Minds Season 2, Episode 4: “Psychodrama”
Penelope:
Um, pals, don't be ticked, but I think I might have missed the glaringly obvious; how would you make yourself taller without being a different person entirely or having some weird Chinese surgery?

Criminal Minds Season 3, Episode 17: “In Heat”
Penelope (via phone to team):
Prints belong to Deacon Rogers, Odessa, Texas. He's had a couple of minor arrests - one for marijuana possession, one for lewd behavior, which I'm guessing is code for "gay" in Texas.