Hey, you know what's "ridiculously amazing"? Shirtless Jacoby Jones on Dancing With the Stars Season 16 Week 3!
That guy was 5'7," went to prom alone, and got kicked out? But Andy Dick was Homecoming King?! Well, sorry, but in the battle of the shirtless prom dancers, Jacoby wins. (You’ll always be our favorite "sneeze," Andy!) You know what gets our mad wasp face? Some of the judges' comments tonight. There were some catty mean girls in the house named Len and Bruno. Guess they didn't get invites to prom this year. Que sera sera.
DWTS Prom Night was hit and miss overall. The same people who are usually at the top were at the top again: Kellie and Derek did such a blazing fast Jive, Len prematurely declared Kellie the queen of the prom. (Don't take our power away, Grumpy! Although, he’s probably right. That seemed preordained the second we knew there would be a prom king and queen.) Zendaya and Val had a beautiful dance dedicated to her grandmother, but “slipped” to a tie for second. Victor and Lindsay had a nice comeback hit, which could help keep them out of the bottom two tomorrow night. But Wynonna and Tony had a big miss. There was no sugar poured on that Samba, although Tony's costume was definitely sweet.
So who will go home tomorrow night? Do we even look at the bottom of the leaderboard or is that the new safe zone, with someone in the grey area slightly above that more likely to be in danger? At this point, we’re worried for the folks in the “21” club. Who stood out to you this week? Where did your votes go, and who should be king and queen?
Here’s a quick rundown of where the couples stand after Week 3, but before the extra points are added for the prom king & queen:
Kellie & Derek — 25
Zendaya & Val — 24
Jacoby & Karina — 24
Aly & Mark — 23
Victor & Lindsay — 23
Lisa & Gleb — 21
Ingo & Kym — 21
Sean & Peta — 21
Andy & Sharna — 18
D.L. & Cheryl — 16
Wynonna & Tony — 15
Read on for a full recap of the Week 3 action:
PROM KING & QUEEN GROUP DANCE: The couples all showed off cheesy moves to get prom votes. Gotta go for The Murgalo, although Andy Dick’s funky Worm deserves some props.
1. Alexandra Raisman & Mark Ballas — Viennese Waltz to "Give Me Love" by Ed Sheeran — She feels like she’s in math class with all the music counting. It’s hard to combine that with the romance of the dance. She’s also playing the age card, saying some people think because she’s only 18 she can’t pull this off. Who thinks that? Zendaya is 16. Shawn Johnson won at 17. We’re all pretty confident they can pull it off, even without ever being in love. Cupid is in the sky at the start of their dance. Unique VW opening. Feels like So You Think You Can Dance. They move well together. Sweet dance.
JUDGES: Even the judges dressed up this week. Len Goodman said up until tonight he had been impressed with Aly’s dancing. Not tonight. ... boos ... “April Fool!” Good one, Len! Bruno Tonioli said they were all swept away in the romance. She moves well and expresses it well. Still a little bit of work needed on her top frame. Carrie Ann Inaba said her movement quality is amazing. It’s refined. But she could work on staying in the character. She goes in and out of it. The other judges fought against that. Len jumps in to defend Aly, saying she put herself out there, her heart pounding. Wow - another April Fool?
SCORES: 7 (Carrie Ann), 8 (Len), 8 (Bruno) = 23 out of 30.
Vote for Aly & Mark: 1-800-868-3408
2. Andy Dick & Sharna Burgess — Cha-Cha-Cha to "Da Ya Think I'm Sexy?" by Rod Stewart— Andy was Homecoming King? Wow. Sometimes when he freezes up he holds her hand too tight and hurts her. So he slows down his thinking and messes up. He’s heading toward a second breakdown. After he yells, she takes a break, ala Cheryl last week with D.L. These comedians! They are sensitive dancers. They have a texting breakup at the start of the dance, then nerdy Andy’s dream woman shows up. They take a while to start dancing, though, which is not the kind of thing Len tends to like. She looks like an S&M sex kitten. It’s not the cleanest Cha-Cha of all time and the judges probably won’t like it, but OH MY HEAVEN HIS SHIRT IS OFF. Did we need that?
JUDGES: Bruno told him to let it all hang out. It’s revenge of the nerds. His timing was a bit off (Carrie Ann laughed) but his entertainment value was on. Carrie Ann looked amazing and Andy kept up. The only way to win is to true and Andy tries with his full heart and soul. He has this X factor. He needs to work on Cha-Cha timing. Len said, “You’re like a sneeze. You know it’s coming but there’s nothing you can do about it.” (Ha!) He then casually added, “You’re not a great dancer, just know that...” The audience booed. Carrie Ann piped in with “He’s trying” and Len fought with her. Love when the judges fight. Len said, “What you do is you make me feel good. I feel better after watching you than I did before you danced. Any connection to the Cha-Cha was a coincidence, but great entertainment. Well done!” Great review from Len!
SCORES: He flashed his “six-pack” again in the Celebriquarium! 6, 6, 6 = 18 out of 30.
Vote for Andy & Sharna: 1-800-868-3411
3. Ingo Rademacher & Kym Johnson — Paso Doble to "Another One Bites the Dust" by Queen — This week he’s doing his fantasy prom since his real prom was boring as s**t. He’s the sexy guy who rides in on a motorcycle. Ingo is 42 and he’s feeling his age. Age is already a big theme this season. Aww! Kym is such a beautiful prom queen “slut.” Love the sparkly motorcycle! The dance is OK but not a standout. He needs a “wow” dance and for some reason it’s just not happening.
JUDGES: Carrie Ann said he threw the power into it but he needs to start his core stronger. His postures look weird. Len said he liked the attitude and feel of the dance, but it could’ve had cleaner arms and posture. But there’s more to cheer than jeer. bruno said that’s no way to treat a lady. But he worked very hard. He has so much intensity and power, but he needs refinement in his shapes.
SCORES: 7, 7, 7 = 21 out of 3. This is General Hospital’s 50th birthday and there’s a big GH contingent in the crowd. All his wives!
Vote for Ingo & Kym: 1-800-868-3403
4. Lisa Vanderpump & Gleb Savchenko — Viennese Waltz to "I Have Nothing" by Whitney Houston— Love the “ROMP” Night before they change it to “PROM.” Keep ROMP! Lisa and Gleb didn’t get enough votes last week, landing them in the bottom two, so she said he had to get out there naked on a billboard. They are going to do whatever it takes to get votes. So he takes his “kit” off. Great line from Gleb: “You look like a dancer when you don’t move.” They have an elegant, classic Viennese Waltz. Nothing fancy. It’s classy and elegant, but is it memorable?
JUDGES: Len said it was bright and breezy, free and easy. There was an air of lightness about it. They weren’t very long in hold. She has to work on her posture and footwork. But he liked the feel of it. Bruno said she looked almost regal. She looked much more at ease, but she missed a few passes. She has to keep the stamina going. She deflates. Carrie Ann said she loves watching Lisa & Gleb. Just as a unit they are beautiful to look at. She has to stay in character throughout, just like Aly.
SCORES: 7, 7, 7 = 21 out of 30. 7s, on Week 3, are kind of a “meh” score. Not bad. Not great. They really need to make a dent on the dance floor, beyond being adorable and funny in rehearsal packages.
Vote for Lisa & Gleb: 1-800-868-3404
5. Kellie Pickler & Derek Hough — Jive to “Footloose” by Kenny Loggins — They know Zendaya did a fantastic Jive last week, so it sounds like they recognize that she’s their #1 competition at this point. Derek gets a mad “wasp face” when she gets a move wrong! When he has a capable partner, he’s tougher on them. The Hough family really loves “Footloose.” They’ve gotten a lot of mileage out of it. Derek is in full Energizer Bunny mode. It’s hard to watch her when he’s full-on like this. He just goes for it!
JUDGES: Bruno said there’s nothing loose about that performance, it was crisp, tight and precise and sharper than a samurai sword. Carrie Ann said it was “ridiculously amazing.” She doesn’t know how Kellie does it. It was the fastest routine. Len said she was flying about like a wasp at a picnic. “You are officially the queen of the prom!” Hey, the fans get to vote for that!
SCORES: 8, 9, 8 = 25 out of 30. Highest score from Len! That’s unusual.
Vote for Kellie & Derek: 1-800-868-3401 (1-800-VOTE4-01)
6. Victor Ortiz & Lindsay Arnold — Contemporary to “Slow Dancing in a Burning Room" by John Mayer — Victor was embarrassed and degraded by being in the bottom two last week. He didn’t go to prom because he was broke. It’s true - that stuff costs money. They are so cute together on the dance floor. They have a great natural connection. The dance isn’t totally fluid, but the lifts look good.
JUDGES: Carrie Ann wonders what just happened. “Victor, you’re a dancer! That was incredible.” They have great chemistry. Every movement had meaning. Len said hoping for the best, expecting the worst, and he was pleasantly surprised. The lifts were good, but the moves between weren’t as good. Bruno said he’s a dancer, strong, gentle, caring and sentimental. Bruno stood up for them. “You make your partner proud.” Aww!
SCORES: 8, 7, 8 = 23 out of 30. Love Ingo wearing Kym’s prom queen crown in the background.
Vote for Victor & Lindsay: 1-800-868-3402
7. D.L. Hughley & Cheryl Burke — Salsa to “Sex Machine” by James Brown — He was the prom date of girls who couldn’t get a date ... for $25? Great way to make some cash! It’s been about 30 years since his prom, though. They dance on the top of this ‘70s cube in the middle of the ballroom floor. It kind of limits them, but the dance has a lot of personality, for its limited square footage.
JUDGES: Len said if D.L. is a sex machine then he’s America’s Next Top Model. (Ha!) It wasn’t a Salsa, there wasn’t enough hip action going on. It was as untidy as a teenager’s bedroom. Rrrarrr! Len is on catty fire tonight. Bruno said Salsa is all about oily, slinky hip action. What he looked like was a case of hip replacement. Come on, guys, stop insulting him! Carrie Ann gave the other judges a raspberry. He is making baby steps. Poor D.L. looks upset. He needs to work on musicality. Is he tearing up? Poor guy. At least he could still make a joke about moving his hips and having babies. Hips remind him of child support!
SCORES: 6, 5, 5 = 16 out of 30. The judges are mean ... but he did need more dance content.
Vote for D.L. & Cheryl: 1-800-868-3405
8. Jacoby Jones & Karina Smirnoff — Rumba to “Stay” by Rihanna — Jacoby was 5’7” and went to prom by himself and got kicked out? His high school was destroyed by Hurricane Katrina. He is dedicating the dance to his high school. He’s such a jokester in rehearsals, he’s going to unleash Hurricane Karina. SHIRTLESS dance! Definitely sexier than Andy. Sorry, Mad Hatter. Much love to the DWTS band, but the singing of this song is an example of why they should use recorded tracks. It just doesn’t work. Amazing dance, though. All those tattoos!
JUDGES: Bruno said he’s Jacoby, great and powerful. He was smoldering like a volcano of passion. He was so into it with wonderful arm extensions. But watch his foot placements. Carrie Ann said she’s impressed. He has incredible artistry. That was hot, sensual and artistic. Len said he’s shocked - he knew Jacoby could do the goofy stuff, but it had refinement and quality of movement and atmosphere.
SCORES: 8, 8, 8 = 24 out of 30. Too low? Maybe a 9 could’ve been thrown in there?
Vote for Jacoby & Karina: 1-800-868-3412
9. Wynonna Judd & Tony Dovolani — Samba to “Pour Some Sugar on Me” by Def Leppard — Tony’s outfit! Oh my. And Wynonna pole dances! She met with Def Leppard for inspiration. Tony seems to enjoy the pole more than Wynonna. If he likes that costume, he should consider some Magic Mike moves. but this doesn’t really seem like their dance or their theme. It’s not really working for them. It’s working more for Tony just to let loose but Wynonna did not unleash her inner tigress. She is still much too tentative.
JUDGES: Carrie Ann said “You know I love you...” They asked for wild and they got wild outfits but the rest of the dance was a whisper. (Agreed.) Len said she’s like Mt. Rushmore, she looks magnificent but she doesn’t move. There was no hip action. Len said he knows how hard this is, and Tony jumped in with “No, you don’t.” Well, maybe not but he’s right about this one. Bruno said it was too sedated. They’re right. They’re not being mean to Wynonna. Their comments are more kind than what they said to D.L., even if the sentiment isn’t flattering.
SCORES: 5, 5, 5 = 15 out of 30.
Vote for Wynonna & Tony: 1-800-868-3410
10. Sean Lowe & Peta Murgatroyd — Cha-Cha-Cha to “YMCA” by the Village People — Sean wants to give Peta the best prom she’s ever had since her first prom was horrible. Her prom date had a girlfriend. Now her prom date has a fiancee! Poor Peta can’t win. Except in the body department. She’s the new Edyta with that body and those outfits! And now she also has the Village People. Sean is definitely headed into Chippendales territory again. The costumes alone are worth watching, but they also bring personality and fun into the dance, and the audience played along. It’s corny and cute, but not the world’s greatest Cha-Cha.
JUDGES: Len said they exploded on the floor with energy and attack. He could work on his feet a bit but it’s his best dance so far. Bruno said Sean pleased Bruno even more. He wants Sean to come to his home and fix his shelves. It was really full of fun, but he needs to work on his footwork and finish his moves. Carrie Ann said there was one thing missing from the routine: Bruno. Oh now you’ve done it! Yep, he gets up and dances.
SCORES: 7, 7, 7 = 21 out of 30. Huh. They seemed to like the dance but gave it the meh score. Interesting.
Vote for Sean & Peta: 1-800-868-3407
11. Zendaya Coleman & Valentin Chmerkovskiy — Viennese Waltz to “Que Sera Sera” — She’s dedicating this dance to her grandmother, who was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. She had trouble with the spins in rehearsals, but trouble for Zendaya is not the same as trouble for others. The girl has game! She just moves like magic out there. Can they keep this up all season?
JUDGES: Bruno said it was as enchanting and charming as Venice in the moonlight. What a nice compliment! She had a couple of stumbles but overall it was beautiful. Carrie Ann said she has this incredible lyrical quality but the best is probably yet to come. The emotional connection to the moves is beyond her years. Len said she moves effortlessly. Len saw too much wafting the arms and not enough in hold. That’s his feeling. He said he’s not criticizing Zendaya. But thanks for putting a damper on the moment anyway, man!
SCORES: 8, 8, 8 = 24 out of 30.
Vote for Zendaya & Val: 1-800-868-3406