Oh, People Magazine. Tsk tsk. We’re holding up a “5” paddle for your choice of Bradley Cooper as Sexiest Man Alive. He’s OK, but he’s not sexy like our Dancing With the Stars boys. (Besides, he totally looks like the type who’d forget to do heel leads in a Waltz.) So here are five DWTS pros you should consider for next year’s cover — or perhaps a special sexy supplement? Think about it...

1. Maksim Chmerkovskiy
Duh, he’s Sex on a Stick! How much more obvious can it get? Shirt on, shirt off, clean-shaven or with scruff, Maks has got it and he flaunts it. And we are grateful.

2. Tristan MacManus
Our beloved Irish leprechaun proved he’s more than just the shiny new toy on the block. With his quick wit, good nature and miles of patience, he transformed Nancy Grace into half of the most adorable odd couple of Season 13. Plus, we noticed that chest hair.

3. Derek Hough
Nobody moves like Derek, so instead of a People Magazine cover, he’d need one of those flip books to keep him in motion. The golden boy of DWTS has won this show three times and each week he shows why — through creative choreography, gentle teaching and sexy shirtless Latin dances.

4. Dmitry Chaplin
Sometimes we worry that ABC doesn’t appreciate Dmitry’s sexiness. Season 13 is definitely feeling his absence. Did they think we would forget about our beloved Russian hottie? Please. Never gonna happen.

5. Val Chmerkovskiy
What’s this? Another sexy Chmerkovskiy? A younger one who likes poetry and music and raw, passionate Rumbas that make us blush and turn on the fan? Why, welcome to the fold, sir.

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