Credit: Adam Taylor/ABC Television Group © 2011 Disney Photo: Ralph Macchio & Karina Smirnoff on DWTS April 4, 2011

What a weird week. Between the judges fighting, the pros falling, and the smoke machine plotting ballroom domination, Story Week was no fairy tale. Here are five of the most memorable moments from Dancing With the Stars Season 12, Week 3.

5. Sugar Ray has a lot going on down there.
If we catalogued Bruno Tonioli’s every inappropriate moment, this list would easily enter double digits and take all day to complete. But in this instance, judge Bruno’s suggestive moment just happens to have good timing. During his critique of Sugar Ray Leonard’s dancing, Bruno gets up and thrusts his pelvis out to illustrate how Spanish lines should look in the Paso Doble. Anna Trebunskaya tells Ray to show how he can do it, and as Ray thrusts his own pelvis out, Bruno says “You’ve got a lot going on down there, I can see it.” Hello!

4. Len takes on Tom's googly eyes.
Usually host Tom Bergeron is off-limits, but when Len Goodman is feeling grumpy, no one is safe. After Romeo’s Rumba with Chelsie Hightower, Len simply says Romeo took a huge step back. There’s some quiet booting as everyone waits for details or further explanation. Len just stares back at Tom, saying Tom told him to be quick, so he was quick. “If you want me to carry on, I can do. But don’t keep looking at me with those big googly eyes, all scaring me out there.” As Tom replies, “I didn’t expect you to come in with a machete!” After Romeo’s scores, Tom adds, “Later tonight, Len goes to the wizard for a heart!”

3. Carrie Ann vs. Len & Bruno on Ralph's Rumba
Rare is the occasion when Len and Bruno are on the same side about anything. This time they agree that Ralph Macchio’s Rumba for his wife, Phyllis, is not that great. Len thinks Ralph’s routine needs refinement and more hip action. Bruno says he needs to connect more with partner Karina Smirnoff, because he was acting like she was “too hot to handle.” Carrie Ann calls it a very sweet Rumba. She tells Bruno that he missed the point of the dance, it was for his wife, not Karina. Bruno and Len immediately disagree, with Len getting heated, pointing his pencil in Carrie Ann’s face and saying “You missed the point!” She counters that she did not miss the point. Len continues, ‘It was manic! It was not sweet! It was not sweet and gentle!” Tom jumps in and said “Carrie Ann’s turn! Carrie Ann’s turn!” If only our beloved Karate Kid’s Rumba had half this much passion to it, there would be no need to fight.

2. Turn off the smoke machine!
Somebody was waiting for his big moment to shine. The Smoke Monster took over Kendra Wilkinson’s Rumba with Louis van Amstel. He wasn’t supposed to get this powerful, but when a ham gets his 15 minutes — look out. Kendra blamed the excessive smoke for her little fumble at the start. She couldn’t see the stairs. The smoke machine calmed down for later dances, but on Tuesday Tom said he is now working regional theater. Poor thing.

1. Kirstie & Maks fall
Obviously. We’ve heard all about it by now and if we discuss it any more, Kirstie Alley & Maks Chmerkovskiy will probably knock down the door and drag us off to the desert. They are sick to death of talking about it. Then again, if there’s even a slight chance Maks will knock down the door and come in...

Credit: Hulu Photo: The Dancers Confess! Backstage After DWTS Week 3: Story Week