10. Bruno Tonioli [on Rick Fox dancing with Cheryl Burke]: It’s like getting a California condor trying to dance with a hummingbird.
Except in this case, the hummingbird totally owns the condor.
9. Carrie Ann Inaba [to Kurt Warner]: You kind of remind me of, like, everybody’s favorite uncle at the wedding, who has a little too much to drink and gets, like, all crazy and an inner dancer comes out.
That's a compliment? We know that uncle — he's embarrassing.
8. Len Goodman [to Kyle Massey]: It was as though you were engulfed in a huge feather duster and you kept popping out here and there.
Sounds like Grumpy's just jealous of Lacey's poofy skirt.
7. Karina Smirnoff: To be honest, I’m enjoying kicking Situation’s a**. I don’t think a lot of girls get to do that.
Guess she hasn't met JWOWW.
Bruno is the one in the doghouse after his nastiness.
5. Len [on Bolton's Jive]: It had everything in there. It probably needed a pooper scooper, as well, just to finish it off.
And this is the nicer of the Bolton critiques.
4. Maksim Chmerkovskiy [to Brandy Norwood]: The name of this partnership is you having fun, me losing hair and years of my life.
FYI, that was also the name of Maks's partnership with Erin Andrews and Debi Mazar and Denise Richards...
3. Sarah Palin [meeting Mark Ballas]: I’m all star-struck!
She never said that to John McCain.
2. Tony Dovolani [on his Quickstep with Audrina Patridge]: If this routine does not get three 8s, I’ll go and wax my legs.
Dang, Tony, what were you going to do if it got a 3, like Bolton's Jive?
1. Kurt: I’ve been booed by thousands of people before. So one old guy from England? I think I can handle that.
Nice! Florence Henderson and The Situation are kicking themselves that they didn't get to this diss first.
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