Desiree Hartsock and Boys Throw Shade in New Bachelorette Rap Video
The Bachelorette has been gracing our TV with its presence for ten glorious years, and everything has been leading up to this moment: The first day of the rest of your life. The day The Bachelorette gods gifted us with a music video starring Desiree Hartsock, a flock of white rappers (aka her contestants), and Soulja Boy, who spends most of said video crying on the inside. FROM HAPPINESS.
Des and her hotties filmed this masterpiece (titled "Right Reasons") during her first group date, and we don't have the words to describe our feelings. Probably because we're blind from all the snap-in grills, fake gold chains, scenes of hunks making it rain hundies, and weird buckets of Fall foliage. Because autumnal leaves are totally a hallmark of hip hop videos.
But let’s not forget the mad shade the boys of Bachelorette 9 throw towards past seasons: There are mentions of the dad who “proposed one day and the next changed his mind” who “cried so much it’ll make you sick.” Oh, um, that would be Jason Mesnick, who Mike Garofola portrays particularly well. Shout-outs to Justin "Rated-R" Rego and the guy whose “band sent him to promote his jingle” (uh, that doesn’t narrow it down...).
Of course, we're ultimately left pondering the greater theme of this vid — are Desiree's bites of man candy here for the right reasons? Because judging from this, they should all be locked up in a local sanitorium.
By the way, if you're wondering whether or not Chris Harrison makes his rap debut in this majestic creation, the answer is yes. And it's extremely gentle. Like, we experienced a lot of deep thoughts while he was serenading the camera.
To quote Soulja Boy, "You look pimpin', baby. Maybe you should go do some contemplatin'." Tell em, Des.