It’s our favorite time of the season, boys and girls! That most awkward of times when the lead of our favorite reality dating franchise — in this case, Andi Dorfman — goes home to meet four moms and pops in order to convince them she has only the bestest of intentions toward their son, despite also having the best of intentions toward three other sons. We can already feel the parental judging practically leaping through our television screens in HD and we can’t wait — because parental judgment is magical when it’s not coming from yours.
So, what happens on Episode 8 — Hometown Dates! — on this most kissy of Bachelorette seasons? Oddly enough, a lot less kissing.
Andi will head to four hometowns for some familial familiarizing: Milwaukee, Wisconsin for Nick Viall, Arlington, Iowa for Chris Soules, Tampa, Florida for Josh Murray, and Dallas, Texas for Marcus Grodd.
Nick is up first, and he and his 17 family members — we’ll just let that sink in — make Andi feel right at home with some good ol’ fashioned grilling. Even his nine-year-old sister gets in on the “what are your intentions with my brother” song and dance. In the promo for the episode, Nick says that anyone who doesn’t get along with his family is out the door, so hopefully the assistant DA brought her A game. Nine-year-olds can be more intimidating than gangsters.
Next Andi hoofs it to Iowa, where she learns that Iowa is full of the most fields of corn you’ve ever laid eyes on. And corn silos, too. Here, farmer Chris informs her that her life in his field of dreams may include pursuing a career opportunity as a homemaker. Don’t get us wrong — we might take the gig of being a land baron’s housewife if we could get it — but Andi’s an assistant district attorney who likes to wear leather skirts and fancy capes. The only home we see her making is one for her Prada shoes.
The Dorf leaves the land of crop circles behind and heads for more familiar territory in Tampa — she’s a southern girl, y’all. Josh introduces her to his fam bam of brown-eyed, brown-haired clones and Andi says, “hey, I fit right in here!” Actually, she doesn’t. Though she seems like a perfect addition to the gene pool, her worry at this hometown is that Josh is a little too involved with being home.
J.Murrs is super involved in brother Aaron Murray’s burgeoning NFL career. How will Josh give Andi the attention he needs if his eyebrow twin Aaron is always wanting to toss the old pigskin around before family BBQs in the backyard? Josh is never cutting the chord, his mom tells her. NEVER.
Last but not least, Andi heads to Dallas to visit Marcus and… we hear crickets. The promo gives us nada of his date other than a shot of Mr. Blue Eyes giving Andi a hug. We’re not sayin’, but we’re kinda just sayin’, this doesn’t bode well for the Grodd.
The Rose Ceremony gets overshadowed by the news of Eric Hill’s death, and we’re not sure how much ABC is going to show of the remaining cast’s reaction to the tragedy, but the promo makes it look pretty grim.
One man goes home at the end of the day, and the remaining foursome move on to Fantasy Suite Dates in the Dominican Republic. But it’s not all fun and games in paradise, as another contestant goes home before he even gets the key to his Fantasy Suite.
Whew — this season just keeps on giving!
Can you believe we’re already to hometown dates? And do you agree with who Andi picked as her final four? Let us know in the comments.