Teen Mom's Farrah Abraham is hitting up the small screen! And no, her backdoor will not be featured, so your eyeballs are officially safe. This gal is set to make an appearance on the premiere episode of The Soup Investigates, a spin-off of E!'s hit show The Soup where faux-reporters interview celebs and investigate big-time entertainment stories.

Obviously, nothing is bigger or more breaking than Farrah's backdoor, so it's only natural that she was asked to do an interview with Sarah Tiana. Check out this clip of Sarah fangirling over Farrah and asking her a series of questions like, "When did you decide to become a teen mom?" and "When you first peed on that pregnancy test, like, how did you feel?"

Farrah's response? "It's like peeing on a hard life ahead."

Please give us a moment to bask in the glow of this glorious sentence. Farrah. Is. Brilliant. The Dalai Lama should probably just quit his job and hand his torch over to this girl, because she's slaying us with her inspirational musings. And according to the E! PR Twitter handle, there's even more where that came from!

"We have @F1abraham in the premiere episode of The Soup Investigates tomorrow at 10:30pm," E! tweeted. "And she is fantastic!"

Blessed. Make sure to check out The Soup Investigates October 2 at 10:30 p.m. ET on E!. This is an unmissable television event, people!

Source: Twitter, OKMagazine.com