The Bachelorette

Frank Neuschaefer Reveals Dark Secret in New Photo

Frank Neuschaefer, we need to talk, pal. Look, ever since you told Ali Fedotowsky you had to leave her striped side during Season 6 of The Bachelorette, we’ve been questioning our admittedly animalistic attraction to you.

With your hipster-before-hipster glasses, toothy, angular smile, and Abercrombie past, our love for you blossomed for all the right reasons. Although we watched young Alexandra shed tears over her eternal loss of the “attentive face” you gave her every time she spoke, we knew that it only opened the door for our own love story with you.

Even when we were confused about your last name, because it made us think of terrible fat-free cream cheese, our flame burned on. But something has changed since the day you walked out of her — and our — life forever. And that something is that we’ve finally seen your past, and we now know who you are...

(Click through for your own revelation.)