Now that Mother’s Day is here, we’d like to take this opportunity to take a look at some of the parenting styles favored by the various moms of Game of Thrones.
Let’s first look at Cersei Lannister. Cersei is of the opinion that when you decide to have children, you should choose their father carefully. In Cersei’s case, she chose her twin brother, and why not? After all, your kids are essentially half you and half someone else, so why take the chance of that someone else mucking up your perfect genetic material with their own? Better to keep it in the family, says Cersei, that way you have perfect, untarnished copies of yourself. Of course, if you’re a horrible person like Cersei is, this plan could backfire (see: Joffrey).
Now for Cat Stark. Cat is more of a “hands off” kind of mother. If you have a giant brood like Cat does, she feels it’s best to scatter them across an entire continent. Even if one is in a coma, seemingly in need of your care, you should probably split town before he wakes up. You don’t want him to grow too dependent, do you? However, if you feel like you absolutely have to be around one of your children, you should make sure it’s the only one who’s fully grown. Bonus points if they’re married.
Elsewhere in the Tully family, it’s hard for us to believe that Cat’s sister, Lysa Arryn, was brought up in the same household. Lysa is far from being a “hands off” mother like Cat. In fact, pretty much the only time Lysa takes her hands off her son is to unbutton her dress to breastfeed him. Lysa believes that a mother should never leave her son’s side, and she should always make sure that he has adequate nutrition. The best way to do this, according to Lysa, is to breastfeed him well into his formative years. Once he’s 18, you can try giving him Cheerios, but not before!
Lastly, we have Daenerys Targaryen. Dany knows the drama that comes with raising children, so she’s decided to be The Mother of Dragons instead. Think about it: dragons obey your every command, you never have to change them, and they can set fire to your enemies! Maybe in the future Dany will try to have some kids of her own that aren’t reptilian, but in the meantime, we advise against calling her a “crazy dragon lady”. Unless, of course, you really like fire.
So there you have it; outstanding parenting tips from some of Game of Thrones’ best moms. With great mothers like these, it’s no surprise that Westeros is the shining example of righteous behavior that it is!
Catch the next episode of Game of Thrones this Sunday, May 12 at 9 p.m. ET/PT on HBO.