This is the worst day of our lives. Because, guys? We no longer have a chance at finding Teen Mom's Gary Shirley, winning him over with our crop of ripened watermelons, and making him our boyfriend.
This adorable papa bear is known for making ladies swoon with his sweet personality, hilarious Twitter musings ("Light is f—ed and I'm on the ocean"), and zest for nature –– and we've been living under the delusion that he's been single since his baby mama, Amber Portwood, voluntarily jailed herself.
Of course, Gary did mention a little something about being a taken man back in June, when he tweeted, "Love everything my girlfriend does for me" but we chose to ignore said tweet. After all, maybe Gary was talking about a platonic gal pal? We lived in hope.
Unfortunately, it looks like we can no longer deny the basic truth that Gary has a soulmate. "Quality time with the Gf & Leah watching the Christmas shoes," he tweeted on August 24.
Sob. On the one hand, we're thrilled that Gary has found happiness. On the other, we worry about poor Amber. Lord knows how she feels about her ex-boyfriend shacking up with some mystery lady, but suffice it to say her jail-time visits with Gary are no longer conjugal.
We’re not sure what this mystery lady looks like yet, but we’re picturing the new couple wearing matching overalls in a field of ripe, organic melons.
Also, Gary? The Christmas Shoes is a holiday movie. It's August, friend.