“Girls Are Always Hotter When They’re Wet” — A Man’s Review of The Bachelor Season 16, Episode 4
Credit: Illustration by Wetpaint Entertainment (Original Source: ABC)    

The Bachelor

“Girls Are Always Hotter When They’re Wet” — A Man’s Review of The Bachelor Season 16, Episode 4

When it comes to The Bachelor, both genders would clearly agree that there’s a whole lotta craziness going on. But what do guys notice about Ben Flajnik’s choices and actions that the rest of us might not? And would all guys act the way Ben is? We need a male perspective!

To figure out what guys think when they watch this show, we’ve asked a male to name the three things he noticed while watching the show this week (Episode 4), including the mistake that Ben made with Samantha Levey, and the surefire way to tell that Ben likes Courtney Robertson more than everyone else.

1. Last week’s skiing in bikinis? Awesome. This week’s fishing trip? Not so much.

“Girls Are Always Hotter When They’re Wet” — A Man’s Review of The Bachelor Season 16, Episode 4
Credit: Natalie Cass/ABC Television Group © 2011 Disney    

Let me explain why the fishing date was a terrible, terrible idea (besides the fact that watching someone fish is about as much fun as watching someone straighten a picture frame on the wall, and then they’re like, “Is it straight yet?” and you’re like, “A little bit more to the left,” and it just doesn’t end). First off, girls are always hotter when they’re wet, so when I see the girls taking extra precautions to make sure that there is absolutely no chance that they’ll get even the slightest bit wet, that’s a problem. (They may as well have worn hazmat suits for the date.)

Secondly, why would you force a girl to go on an activity that you know they won’t like? The bored look on Kacie B.’s face as she’s watching the end of her fishing line is the same look that I get when I’m waiting for my whole-wheat toast to pop up from the toaster.

And speaking of boring dates, how yawn-inducing was his canoe trip with Rachel? That is a deathly first-date option, as the only reason for a guy to suggest a canoe trip is for some serious making-out. And it’s never a good sign when a guy is so desperate for conversation that he has to point out animal nests, as Ben was doing. (“See that beaver’s nest over there? That’s what I’m going to go hide in when you’re not looking, so that I can eventually sneak back to the mansion and hook up some more with Courtney.”)

2. Ben handled the Samantha Levey "break up" all wrong.

“Girls Are Always Hotter When They’re Wet” — A Man’s Review of The Bachelor Season 16, Episode 4
Credit: Ron Koeberer/ABC Television Group © 2011 Disney    

Clearly, we didn’t see the full story as to why Samantha got sent home faster than if she had told Ben that his wine is only so-so. On the surface, it seems like Sam gets sent home for wanting to spend more time with him, which is about as ridiculous as Oliver Twist getting in trouble for an innocent request like wanting more gruel.

Sure, Samantha seems high-maintenance and is probably more bubbly than Diet Coke (which is what I’m guessing every girl on this show drinks), but Ben was still way too harsh on the poor girl. Kicking a girl to the curb is all about minimizing the possibility of someone making a scene, so Ben should have kept things vague, instead of citing specifics about how she was too emotional on group dates. (You’re publicly breaking up with a too-emotional girl by telling her she’s too emotional? Uh, good luck with that.)

3. Guys want to date someone who gets along with other females/doesn’t have a bunch of dudes on speed-dial.

“Girls Are Always Hotter When They’re Wet” — A Man’s Review of The Bachelor Season 16, Episode 4

As a guy, it’s hilarious to watch Ben try to justify the fact that he’s enamored with Courtney for reasons that go beyond her rockin’ bod. He’s like, “I love spending time with Courtney; I don’t know what it is.” Uh, you don’t know what it is? Is your long, shaggy hair impairing your vision? Because I’m guessing what you love about Courtney isn’t the riveting conversations that you two have about your favorite types of mustard. Just a hunch. (What fascinating topic will they discuss next week? Perhaps their preferred brands of motor oil? “No, I’m more of a Quaker State man myself.”)

And yes, it is a big deal when your girlfriend can’t get along with any of your other female friends, as Courtney clearly wouldn’t. (Well, apparently she’s friends with Casey, but that just makes it seem like they’ve formed a “Pretty Girls Club” and that the membership is closed.) Most likely, your female friends will be in your life longer than your girlfriend (unless you choose your girl over them), so you don’t really want someone who will alienate them — if only for the possibility of hooking up with your female friends at some point in the future (yeah, we’ve thought about it).

Plus, if she doesn’t have any girl friends... then that only leaves one other sex to fill those roles (and didn’t we just establish why having a guy friend is a bad idea?).

Notable: As was the case last week, the only person whose face Ben touched with his hands this week during a kiss was (surprise, surprise!) Courtney. Ben holds the other girls’ faces as frequently as Chris Harrison forgets to announce the last rose.

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01.27.2012 / 04:20 AM EDT by Ryan Gajewski
Related: The Bachelor, Gossip, The Bachelorette, Ben Flajnik

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