Glee made its grand return to television last Thursday for an epic, Beatles-themed Season 5 premiere: “Love, Love, Love.” This season’s opener had everything we love about the show: lots of energy, swoon-worthy romances, great musical performances... and Glee’s signature refusal to have to abide by the usual rules of logic and reason.
There’s no doubt that Glee doesn’t always stick with reality as we know it. The show is stylized and larger-than-life by design, so some of the normal rules of reality seem not to apply in Glee world. And we love that. It makes things interesting. It keeps us on our toes. So without further ado, here are the biggest logic fails of Glee Season 5, Episode 1.
1. Either Glee’s graduates are secret millionaires... or we really want to borrow their floo powder.
This week, Santana (Naya Rivera), Rachel (Lea Michele), and Mercedes (Amber Riley) all came back to Ohio so they could be there when Blaine (Darren Criss) popped the question to Kurt (Chris Colfer). We love that the ladies wanted to support their friend, but how did they afford the flights — from New York and L.A., respectively — to get there?
The McKinley graduates have come back to Ohio after graduation more often than any seniors we’ve ever seen. And it’s not like NYC is just a short bus ride away. Either they’re all racking up some serious frequent flyer miles, or someone has given them some Harry Potter-quality teleportation powder. (In which case, we hope they decide to share.)
2. Burt Hummel supports the engagement.
Last time we checked, Kurt’s dad was telling Blaine that getting engaged while still in high school was just about the stupidest life choice ever. Then, in the premiere — which by Glee’s timeline was likely only a few days later — he had a complete change of heart. Suddenly, Burt (Mike O’Malley) was telling his son to spend as much time as you can with the one you love because you never know when they might be taken away from you.
Granted, he still made a slight insinuation at the end that his personal feelings on the issue may not have changed. But Burt didn’t voice this opinion to Kurt. He simply encouraged him to seize the day and say yes to Blaine.
3. Finn Hudson wasn’t anywhere. And no one mentioned him.
Okay, things get a bit more complicated here. We know that Glee originally planned for Finn to be a big part of Season 5’s premiere, and that after Cory Monteith’s unexpected death this summer, they decided to write him out of the episode entirely. So while we entirely understand why Finn couldn’t be there at his step-brother’s proposal, his absence still seemed weird in the context of the storyline. With so many friends and family close by, the lack of Finn felt especially intense.
And when Rachel sang, “Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play. Now I need a place to hide away. Oh, I believe in yesterday. Why he had to go, I don’t know,” it seems clear that she’s supposed to be thinking about Finn. But Rachel made no mention of her ex at any time. When she looked at a photo on her phone, the image showed Finn and the entire Glee club, not just him. What very easily could have been a song about Rachel realizing she wanted to get back together with Finn simply ended up as a generic sad song. We get why it was handled this way. But it seems very likely to us that this wasn’t the show’s original intent.
4. Artie Abrams, ladykiller.
Okay, does anyone else notice that Artie (Kevin McHale) has now, more or less, dated the entire female population of the glee club? Tina (Jenna Ushkowitz), Sugar (Vanessa Lengies)... and let’s not forget that the man has also bedded two cheerleaders. He’s hooked up with both Brittany (Heather Morris) and Betty (Ali Stroker). Now he’s dating Head Bee-yotch in Charge Kitty (Becca Tobin).
We have no problem with the idea of the cute geek dating the hot cheerleader. Those sorts of stories are usually our favorite. But Artie is sort of a chauvinist. He’s terrible to the ladies he dates: ordering them around, calling them “woman” in a demeaning tone. Artie’s got some serious work to do if he ever wants to be even remotely in the running for World’s Best Boyfriend. Because he’s kind of a jerk sometimes. We don’t get why all the girls keep falling for him.
5. Will you marry me...mustard and all?
Blaine is a gorgeous man. His hair is perfect. His voice is flawless. And we could get lost in his dreamy eye just about forever. But what was up with that monstrosity of a yellow suit he wore during his proposal to Kurt?
It was mustard yellow, head to toe. The bow-tie was striped navy and red, so it didn’t even remotely match. Clashing colors. Weird patterns. The entire thing was a total eyesore. Blaine, a proposal outfit is supposed to make someone want to spend the rest of their life with you...not make them turn around and run away.